I figured I could dabble
In championship Scrabble.
Then he played “Krypterqu”
For 502.
Now I just play with the rabble.
Tag Archives: Limerick
When You Should Have Stopped After The First Weird Limerick
If you grew a six-foot long beard
You’d probably think it was weird
But after a while
You’d probably smile
And think “This ain’t as bad as I feared.”
And if a six-foot beard grew you
It would not know what to do
Because shaving’s a pain
And beards don’t have a brain.
These dilemmas are why I’m not a jew.
Filed under Poems
I’m Neither Micro Nor Soft… If You Know What I Mean
I once saw a lass dressed in lace
Who had the most beautiful face.
I said “please don’t hate
“But my name’s Windows 8.”
Then I asked “Can I crash at your place?”
Risk vs. Reward?
If you met a murderous clown
When you’re out for a night on the town
And they bought you a drink
What do you think?
Should you take it or turn Snuggles down?
Filed under Poems
A Spartan Limerick
Imagine that after a battle
You found an Athenian child with the cattle…
The adopter would be thanked
But if the kid couldn’t be spanked
The adopters are up a Greek without a paddle.
Filed under Poems
21st Century Music
There once was a popular band
Whose singer was pretty but bland.
The sales started to fall
Until for one and all
She showed off a mammary gland.
Filed under Poems
But It Makes One Bicep Look Bigger…
Some of you may believe
That I wear my heart on my sleeve
As a matter of choice,
But don’t heed that voice.
There was a surgeon who’s since taken his leave…
Filed under Poems
An American In Paris
When walking les rues de Paris
I see people looking at me.
They laugh, “hua hua hua!”
At je ne sais quoi
And, like any sane person, I flee.
Filed under Poems
An Actual Retirement Home On My Street
No matter how I’ve managed to sin
Since my life, long ago, did begin
Please forgive me enough
(Even take all my stuff),
Just don’t leave me at the Woodway Inn!
#RetiredPeopleDon’tDropSoap
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 