Tag Archives: Meta

And Then When WordPress Deletes Your Spaces Upon Publishing So You Have To Right/Center Align Stuff Instead… That’s Having An Editor!

poetry

is the art

of making things

really hard to

read

through

arbitrary

spacing

and forgetting to capitalize words

Unless

They

Make

An

impact

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Yes, I’m Typing This In My Underwear At 10:52… Why Do You Ask? (No Really Though… That’s A Weirdly Specific Question…)

I was lying in my bed

With a pillow for my head

And that covered-flat-other-bit for my feet.

But my somnambulant reflections

Gave my mind well-times reflections

And I didn’t forget a poem today. Neat!

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Now THAT Is Motivation

Tonight I was sleepy and happy

And snuggled up, warm in my bed.

I could’ve been dreaming of Springtime

But I’m writing this poem instead.

Now normally I would just give up

And write four lines that sorta rhyme

But tonight I’m the very best version of me

So I’ll waste twice as much of your time.

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It’s The Thought That Counts?

I wrote this poem earlier

But published it tonight.

I hope you find that tactic

Is both fair and alright.

I did it ‘cause when I am tired

And weary from the day

My poems are bland and meaningless,

But so’s this one, so hey!

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Evening Haikus

Nightfall comes upon

My body. It’s dark and long…

But no homo, ‘kay?

——————————————

Everything is dark,

Quiet, calm, the world at peace.

Then I stub my toe…

———————————————

I should be asleep

But instead I’m writing jokes

About dicks and pain.

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True Story, And Also Why I Shouldn’tDrive At Night

Today I was responsible

And went to bed on time,

Forgetting in the interrim

To share my daily rhyme.

Now I’m warm and comfy

And adrenaline is surging

Just like when I take a nap

And the guy in the other lane is merging…

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Algebra For Men

My math professor wrote on the board

(X-ch)/i = B

He said, “Solve for X,” and so I began

And with each step I started to see:

I multiplied both sides by i

And found X-ch = Bi

Then added ch to both sides of the figure

And found the prof was my kinda guy!

Instead of this nonsense: (X-ch)/i = B

His X = Bi+ch

And I was the only one who said “Hee hee.”

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Lonely Poem Appreciates Your Time 😊

Once there was a poem

That wanted to be read

But 7 billion people

Did something else instead.

If you are reading this

You make the poem smile.

It hopes you’ll come back again

To read it once in a while.

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Nostalgia For Days Less Wordy

I am a man who’s mostly fluent

In most things some call “incongruent.”

If you don’t swallow, you shall spewn’t.

Also, I’m not Clyde.

I hope the intro set the scene

For me to tell you what has been;

This time’s the time I met my queen,

My once and future bride.

My eyes fell softly on the wench

Who sat backwards upon a bench,

Talking to a crescent wrench

About which bands were good.

I asked the lady, “How be it

“That you who speak to hardware sit

“With legs ensconced, I do admit,

“Within that bench of wood?”

She did not reply at first,

For my manners were near the worst,

And I, my oversight, then cursed

And then addressed the tool.

Now seeing that I understood,

She said “I’m trapped within the wood

“Because I wondered if I could.”

Now I felt like a fool

And so I left her trapped within

The bench where didst our tale begin,

For sitting backwards is no sin

But merely hard to grasp.

She’s still my queen and future bride,

For I speak truth and have not lied.

When she is free, and bathed beside,

Her body I will clasp.

For who better to share a life,

Who better to be made a wife,

Than one, though trapped, can feel no strife

Though physics she has broken?

And who, from her odd point of view

Can feel a love so strong and true

Than not Clyde, whose hair isn’t blue,

Who made her heart awoken?

This tale has a moral, yes,

So close your eyes and take a guess.

Your eyes are closed… how read you this?

Anyway, I boast

That this here incongruent verse

Tells you, dear reader, of my curse

And that there are things so much worse

Than a lazy, four-line post.

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The Streak Continues

There once was a poet, demonic

Whose short, four-line poems were chronic.

‘Twas evening again

And the poet did pen,

To be contrary, this lim’rick ironic.

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