poetry
is the art
of making things
really hard to
read
through
arbitrary
spacing
and forgetting to capitalize words
Unless
They
Make
An
impact
poetry
is the art
of making things
really hard to
read
through
arbitrary
spacing
and forgetting to capitalize words
Unless
They
Make
An
impact
I was lying in my bed
With a pillow for my head
And that covered-flat-other-bit for my feet.
But my somnambulant reflections
Gave my mind well-times reflections
And I didn’t forget a poem today. Neat!
Tonight I was sleepy and happy
And snuggled up, warm in my bed.
I could’ve been dreaming of Springtime
But I’m writing this poem instead.
Now normally I would just give up
And write four lines that sorta rhyme
But tonight I’m the very best version of me
So I’ll waste twice as much of your time.
I wrote this poem earlier
But published it tonight.
I hope you find that tactic
Is both fair and alright.
I did it ‘cause when I am tired
And weary from the day
My poems are bland and meaningless,
But so’s this one, so hey!
Nightfall comes upon
My body. It’s dark and long…
But no homo, ‘kay?
——————————————
Everything is dark,
Quiet, calm, the world at peace.
Then I stub my toe…
———————————————
I should be asleep
But instead I’m writing jokes
About dicks and pain.
Today I was responsible
And went to bed on time,
Forgetting in the interrim
To share my daily rhyme.
Now I’m warm and comfy
And adrenaline is surging
Just like when I take a nap
And the guy in the other lane is merging…
My math professor wrote on the board
(X-ch)/i = B
He said, “Solve for X,” and so I began
And with each step I started to see:
I multiplied both sides by i
And found X-ch = Bi
Then added ch to both sides of the figure
And found the prof was my kinda guy!
Instead of this nonsense: (X-ch)/i = B
His X = Bi+ch
And I was the only one who said “Hee hee.”
Once there was a poem
That wanted to be read
But 7 billion people
Did something else instead.
If you are reading this
You make the poem smile.
It hopes you’ll come back again
To read it once in a while.
I am a man who’s mostly fluent
In most things some call “incongruent.”
If you don’t swallow, you shall spewn’t.
Also, I’m not Clyde.
I hope the intro set the scene
For me to tell you what has been;
This time’s the time I met my queen,
My once and future bride.
My eyes fell softly on the wench
Who sat backwards upon a bench,
Talking to a crescent wrench
About which bands were good.
I asked the lady, “How be it
“That you who speak to hardware sit
“With legs ensconced, I do admit,
“Within that bench of wood?”
She did not reply at first,
For my manners were near the worst,
And I, my oversight, then cursed
And then addressed the tool.
Now seeing that I understood,
She said “I’m trapped within the wood
“Because I wondered if I could.”
Now I felt like a fool
And so I left her trapped within
The bench where didst our tale begin,
For sitting backwards is no sin
But merely hard to grasp.
She’s still my queen and future bride,
For I speak truth and have not lied.
When she is free, and bathed beside,
Her body I will clasp.
For who better to share a life,
Who better to be made a wife,
Than one, though trapped, can feel no strife
Though physics she has broken?
And who, from her odd point of view
Can feel a love so strong and true
Than not Clyde, whose hair isn’t blue,
Who made her heart awoken?
This tale has a moral, yes,
So close your eyes and take a guess.
Your eyes are closed… how read you this?
Anyway, I boast
That this here incongruent verse
Tells you, dear reader, of my curse
And that there are things so much worse
Than a lazy, four-line post.
There once was a poet, demonic
Whose short, four-line poems were chronic.
‘Twas evening again
And the poet did pen,
To be contrary, this lim’rick ironic.