Tonight we watched 300
(My wife and I, that is).
I learned of Leonidas
And the courage that was his
To lead a band of brothers
To their deaths love and freedom.
My wife also enjoyed the abs
And told me that I need ‘em.
Tag Archives: Movies
But… The Metaphors?
“This movie is great, I promise”.
Those were the words I said.
Then I remembered that one scene
Where they shot the dude in the head
And the bit with the serial killer
And the… actually, never mind.
Maybe next time we’ll watch a movie
That you happen to find.
Filed under Poems
The Parabola Is Beginning Its Descent…
In 1999 the Matrix took the red pill.
In 2012, the Avengers were assembled.
In 2025 we’ll get the fifth Fantastic Four.
And now you understand just why I trembled.
Filed under Poems
Method Acting
As long as we’re recasting movies
Where male characters are now girls
I hope they can remake “Terminator”
As Hillary Clinton vs. the world.
Filed under Poems
“Best Picture”
If you make a very realistic movie
About a very unpleasant reality
You’ll make a very terrible piece of art
That will inevitably do well on IMDB.
Filed under Poems
It’s Not About Doing It Right… It’s About Adapting!
There once was a criminal crew
Who knew precisely what to do.
They went on a heist
And their planning sufficed
And the film got an awful review.
Filed under Poems
Based On My Real Evening
I watched a movie on TV
About an animated queen.
It had more lotion ads
Than I’ve ever seen.
Also, insurance,
Restaurants, and cars…
Apparently peasants
Need moist skin to be stars?
And so as the princess
And sidekicks sang ballads
I dreamt good healthcare
And never-ending salads.
Then plot twist! Men are evil
And love cures all pain.
I’m grateful for friendship
Brought to you by Gain!
Filed under Poems
Really Though… I Would Love To See More Movies Dubbed With Animal Noises
I wonder if animals watching TV
Think every show is just a human Lassie:
“Oh look! A talking human is saving the day.
“It makes its funny noises and everything is ok.”
Filed under Poems
Dwayne “Dwayne The Rock Johnson” Johnson
There once was a smoldering man
Who was muscular and quite tan.
He lost all his hair
But did not seem to care
And is basically new Jackie Chan.
Filed under Poems
Have You Seen The New “Winnie The Pooh” Movie By DC?
There once was a bear with a shirt
Whose heart filled with blackness and hurt.
He had no friends or money
So he ate all the honey
And the end of the world did avert.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 