It’s bedtime again.
Tomorrow I go to work.
Life is Groundhog Day.
Tag Archives: poems
I Write While Sleepy On The Couch Before I Go To My Bed To Not Fall Asleep For Half An Hour
Filed under Poems
I Humbly Present…
Whoever decided “Present”
Should mean both “gift” and “now”
As well as “here” like “I am here”
And “here” like “take this cow”
Should be presented with a present
If they’re present in the present
‘Cause their presence in the past
Makes the present present as unpleasant.
Task Failed Successfully
They said I couldn’t write a poem
Without using the letter “E”.
They were right, and yet somehow
I’m happy as can be.
On occasion you may find
Satisfaction without complying.
Also, I don’t know how to cut out
My first stanza… not lying!
Filed under Poems
An Honorificabilitudinitatibus Love
I called her pulchritudinous.
She called me eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious.
Both of those are compliments
In case I made you curious.
English Empire? Hold My Beer…
We asked Canada to become a state
But they responded with only hate.
What was poor America to do
But extend the offer to Venezuela too?
Filed under Poems
Move Over, Tae Kwon
In the distant German mountains
The cloistered monks abide,
Perfectly fermenting
The hidden power that’s inside.
They slice a cabbage handily
With their German ninja blade,
Discovering through discipline
How real strength is made.
They drink not wine but vinegar
As they battle high and low,
The secret monk practitioners
Of the great art: Sauer Do.
Filed under Poems
Wishing You A Fungus-Free New Year
I’m starting out the new year
By achieving my daily goals
Like writing my daily poetry
And avoiding benzimidazoles.
And yes, my new goals do include
Some oddly specific stuff
But that’s the sacrifice we make
Because rhyming is tough.
Filed under Poems
Errata for Yesterday’s Haiku
I have been informed
By the demons, and I quote,
“We’re busy elsewhere.”
Filed under Poems
D&D, 1980s Edition
Demon worshippers
Moulding children to their will
Using dice and math.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 