Let me walk you through a moment
Of what I call “being me.”
Instead of streaming music
And paying a monthly fee
I plugged in my computer
From around 2008,
Pressed power on at 6:15
And it booted up by 8:00,
Loaded up my iTunes
From before it was an app
Then uploaded some files
That will make my right foot tap,
Plugged in my phone and synced it
For an hour and a half
Then enjoyed my music free of charge
With a joyful millennial laugh.
Filed under Poems
I’m 0.02 football fields tall
And I weigh 153 basketballs.
My waist circumference is the cube root of 120 teaspoons
And maybe the metric system isn’t bad after all.
Filed under Poems
I want to read a novel
Where the fabled chosen one
Goes on a quest to do something
Like kill the god of the sun
And when we reach the ending
There’s a fabled chosen two
And there’s no sun god after all
And they don’t know what to do.
Filed under Poems
Knock knock. Who’s there? Joe.
Joe who? Joe Mom! LOL!
My poor future kids…
Filed under Poems
“Put on some sunscreen,” they said,
“Or else you’ll get all burnt and red.”
Now my flesh is peeling
And I have the feeling
That I have been grossly misled.
Filed under Poems
Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Filed under Poems
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 