My friend parked in the special spots
With the picture of Professor Xavier.
If he stayed, he’d get a ticket
So I became his savior.
“You’re not allowed to park there,” I said.
“It’s reserved for people with disabilities
“Like fans of foreign movies
“And those who say ‘white fragility.’”
Filed under Poems
Lore drop: “No cap fam”
When said to boomers does not
Make them press F, chat.
Filed under Poems
So people are being naughty
And God floods the entire world
And everybody dies unless
On Noah’s ark they’re curled.
Then the dinosaurs get off the ark
And continue their ungodly acts
And though the Bible doesn’t say it
We can all guess how God reacts…
Filed under Poems
9:00 PM practice
Because people play better
After a long day
A candle popped over my head
As my epiphany did start:
Perhaps making that time machine
Turned out to not be smart.
Filed under Poems
Government program
Accomplished its goals, and so
We’ll drop your taxes.
Filed under Poems
There was a redhead from Seattle
Who beat the bad sheep in a battle.
Four teams had a chance
To ask Darnold to dance
And now they’ve all heard death’s rattle.
Two weeks from now we will play
An opponent much worse than LA.
We’ve found our new guy
So fly, Seahawks, fly!
(Unless Woolen somehow gets his way).
Filed under Poems
“Greenland” is a name
That does not describe the place,
Like “United States”
Filed under Poems
I bought a leaf blower the other day
And my trees are so happy it’s crazy.
I asked one tree “Why do you smile at me?”
Tree said, “Well, my wife’s gotten lazy…”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 