So today I went out to eat
And a rainbow was on my receipt.
Inspired, I resolved
To not get involved
Buying anything ‘til I feel July’s heat.
Tag Archives: Politically Incorrect
Free Speech And Its Consequences (Blue State Edition)
Fire truck is red and bright,
Its sirens wailing in the night,
Filled with heroes of to save
A sassy lass or naive nave.
Fire truck goes very fast
And makes a whoosh as it goes past.
The fire sought by me was started
Because the neighbors said “retarded.”
Filed under Poems
Intercultural Communication
When black people get an education
People say they’re “Acting white”.
As a white person myself
I must say that isn’t right.
If you want to leave the ghetto
That’s an asian thing, for sure.
If you think I’m wrong, you’re gay.
Now speak English, por favor.
Filed under Poems
Am I Trusting The Science Right Yet?
I want to compare test answers
‘Cause I don’t think I passed…
The world is going to flood because
We’re using too much gas
So an African guy made a car
That uses electricity
And people are setting those cars on fire
Because of bad publicity?
But I thought the existential threat
Was a warming atmosphere?
Why are we taking violent action
So the air cannot stay clear?
And somehow its the billionaires
Who’re making us be poor
By reducing all our taxes
And keeping thieves out of their store?
Forgive me if I missed a point…
There’s just so much to learn!
What say we light another joint
And watch the city burn?
Filed under Poems
20th Century Art History
So around the 1900’s
A bunch of artists said
“What if, instead of pretty things
“We just made trash instead?”
And thus “modernism” started
Until 1970 or so
When artists became “post-modern”
And nobody came to their show.
Filed under Poems
Let Freedom Ring!
Imagine a world where all is at peace,
A world without hunger or toil,
And ponder how easy a thing it would be
To go bomb them and take all their oil.
Filed under Poems
The Ghost Busters Reboot We Wanted, But Disney Won’t Approve My Script
I think they should have a Ghostbusters
Where they find a haunted house
But they’re not allowed to cleanse it
‘Cause some fat chick in a blouse
Hears some old white men are coming
And they’re going to exercise
And she wants no part of that.
Then the ghosts come and she dies.
Filed under Poems
Orange Man And Red Riding Hood Friends Now
There once was a big evil wolf
Who sought a young girl to engulf.
He put on Grandma’s dress
And caused major distress.
Now he’s banned from America’s gulf.
Filed under Poems
The Poetical Political Spectrum Test
The Left
If your daughter tells you “Mother
“I am actually your son”
Then tell him that’s amazing
And he’s still your favorite one.
The Right
If she says she wants testosterone
Tell her she’s testost-on-her-own.
Filed under Poems
Beats By Dreidel
Gentiles got foreskins, ya,
But my bros got candles nine.
We only got a day of oil
But there’s God, so we’ll be fine.
We can burn these candles y’all
For a dozen days or so
And all you got’s a baby
In a manger full of snow?
You get one day of giving gifts;
We’ve got a fortnight minus two
Plus no Mariah Carey
So come become a jew!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 