Christmas day
Is almost past.
The next Christmas song
Could be the last.
Santa’s unpacked
His magic sleigh,
Yet the in-laws
Still won’t go away…
Tag Archives: Postaday
A Constipated Mind
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And things were amiss.
A poet was blocked up
And so he wrote this.
But you’ve all got presents
And family and junk,
So I hope you’ll forgive me
This holiday funk.
And if you lack junk,
Family, and gifts,
Let’s hope that next year
Your luck favorably shifts.
Filed under Poems
Chocolate and Jewelry: Done
‘Twas two days before Christmas
And off at the mall
Were all of the husbands
Who dropped the gift ball.
Filed under Poems
The Plastic Skeleton’s Other 11 Months
I am a man without skin.
There’s nothing to keep my guts in.
And yet somehow I lived on,
Quite at home on somebody’s lawn.
Then one day the world went black.
They put me in the basement and didn’t look back.
Now my place on the grass has a penguin instead.
There’s some deer on the roof and a weirdly-shaped sled.
But I know when the snow is gone,
When leaves fall on the golden lawn
I’ll be back to rule the night.
Until then, I’ll be alright.
Filed under Poems
Winter is Coming
Oh you’d better watch out.
You probably will die.
You slept with your sister,
Not gonna lie.
Game of Thrones is coming to town.
You’ve finished the season
And now you must wait.
Don’t lose your head…
Oops, too late.
Game of Thrones is coming to town.
The characters are creepy.
The show keeps you awake.
They’ll kill off eveyone you like,
So like Joffrey for all our sakes.
I Write From Experience
If you feel lonely,
Forgotten and blue,
Put a cat in your profile pic
And everyone loves you.
Filed under Poems
Men’s Studies
I want to understand people.
I want them to make sense,
But I don’t like psychology.
I took women’s studies classes.
I took men’s studies too,
But those ones they called “history.”
Filed under Poems
Mercy and Reason
I can understand the fear
Of Muslims, guns, and thugs.
I see we people punish
Those who sell illegal drugs.
Despite my understanding,
I can’t support the death penalty
Unless you spoil “The Force Awakens,”
In which case it’s fine with me.
Filed under Poems
What The News Won’t Tell You
Mass media provides
A service in which they
Share public information
Of what happens every day.
But the news is not reliable
To show an uncomfortable scoop
Like the hundreds of would-be bombers
Who thought “nah, I gotta poop.”
No matter how they try
And no matter how they zoom
Cameras never show a person
Standing in an empty room.
They won’t report this poem
On MSNBC.
They won’t tell other countries
About you, him, her, and me.
So I spend time on Facebook
‘Cause the news is relevant there
Until I see pics my friend’s friend liked
And then even I don’t care.
Filed under Poems
