Today I ran a 5K race
And lost at pickleball
So my writing motivation
Is hovering around “none at all.”
Tag Archives: Postaday
Heaven Forbid!
I’m sensing some commonplace themes
That is fear of fascist regimes
Where government’s shrinking
And people start thinking
And grocery receipts don’t cause screams
Filed under Poems
Dear Weirdos
To the girl with funny yellow shoes
And the deaf guy who would sign the blues:
I hope you never have to choose
Between yourself and “normal.”
To the folks who love their face tattoos
And the ones who never drink the booze:
I hope you never, ever lose
Conviction just to be formal.
To the historians and dreamers,
The philosophers and schemers,
The poets and the memers
And the “just-plain-downright-odd”s:
I hope you never lose the spark
To make a name or leave a mark
Because few of us can parallel park
And fewer still are gods.
Filed under Poems
Precedent
The man who has never seen an oven mitt
Will call you a fool
And flip you off with burnt fingers
After grabbing a turkey from the oven bare-handed
So maybe don’t care too much
About what other people think
Filed under Poems
There Once Was A Person From Right Here…
Tonight we play D&D
And pretend to not be me
And instead be a wizard
Who’s also a lizard
And does not write bad poetry.
Filed under Poems
The Little Things
You know when you’re eating the pasta
That’s shaped liked a little wheat shell
And they stick on your tongue while you eat them
And you feel like the whole world is well?
Or how ‘bout when you’re dehydrated
And your pee is all yellow and bright
And the pee-water gets kinda cloudy
And you flush and it all feels alright?
I like that just-popped-a-zit feeling
And that “earwax is washed away” calm.
It’s just me? That may be, but I’m hoping
You find your own commonplace balm.
Filed under Poems
Burn Those Calories!
I once had a buddy named Roddy
Whose fitness routine was shoddy.
His plan, as he stated,
Was to just be cremated
And end up with a smokin’ hot body.
Filed under Poems
For Reference, The Question Was “Why Do You Need To Visit Congress”
There once was a venomous fly
That, with one touch, could make a man die.
It’s untraceable and yellow.
I’ll release it, dear fellow,
And that is my whole answer why.
Filed under Poems
Murica
‘Twas the Fifth of July
And all through the room
People were sleepy
From lots of boom boom.
But we can take solace
As tinnitus lingers:
The worst of our neighbors
Now have but nine fingers.
Filed under Poems
The Zookeeper Writes An Honest Children’s Book
A is for Antelope, which isn’t a deer.
B is for Babirusa, which isn’t a pig.
C is for Capybara, an animal I hear
Was the largest of rodents ‘til your kid did appear.
D is for Dumbo Octopus, a name that fits you.
E is for Echidna, which I wish your wife said.
F is for Frigatebird, which sounds much akin
To what I wish to say unto you and your kin.
G is for Gerenuk, which is also not a deer.
H is for a place where you might disappear.
I am now leaving to go do my job
And I bid good day to you and your blob.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 