One thing I don’t understand:
Why men who stare are loathed.
If a woman is ninety-percent naked
Men just look at what is clothed!
Tag Archives: Short
But How Many Decimal Places?
I once knew a shepherd named Sadie
Whose business was just a touch shady.
She had 79 sheep
When she went to sleep
Then she rounded them up and had 80.
Filed under Poems
What A Glorious Evening!
This poem is late.
I am breeding Pokemon.
I have no girlfriend.
Filed under Poems
Distressed Jeans of History, Vol. 1
An Ancient Greek found trousers
With holes torn in the knees.
He held them up for passers-by
Asking, “Euripides?”
Filed under Poems
DEFENSELESS FOOLS!!!
People are trying to ban firearms
As if they could assume
That they wouldn’t need a gun
If a spider came in their room…
Filed under Poems
It Was Totally Sincere, But Then I Needed A Rhyme
I’m grateful for people
Who do not expect
Good poems on holidays
And, to me, genuflect.
Filed under Poems
Penis Envy, by Dr. Seuss
How terribly toxic it seems to me
That it must be to be a “he,”
And yet, for reasons I can’t see,
A he is what I wish to be.
Filed under Poems
Oh Yeah, I Went There
Life gave one guy lemons
And life gave the next guy a kid.
The first guy made some lemonade.
You don’t wanna know what the second guy did…
Filed under Poems
When You’ve Only Written Crappy Four-Line Poems For A Week But You’re Still Not Inspired…
Vegans are the greatest photographers
The world has ever seen
Because instead of saying “Cheese”
They say “Emulsified Pea Protein.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 