Do you ever just feel exhausted,
Like you’re sleepwalking while horizontal
But instead of moving around
You sit in a weary font, dull?
And then you’re so tired your mind drifts
And you hallucinate vividly for an hour
And then find yourself in the morning
And you’re rested? That’s my super power!
Filed under Poems
They say life is like a box of chocolates
But I think it’s more like a Chinese buffet:
You get to eat as much as you can manage
But if it’s chicken or a puppy, who can say?
Filed under Poems
There once was a potato named Joe
Who forgot how to talk on a show.
He had a sidekick
Who was black and a chick
And what’s that I hear? Overthrow?
Filed under Poems
There was an affordable city
That wasn’t all dirty and shitty.
Then it made the news
And earned plenty of views
And Californians are coming… a pity!
Filed under Poems
Barbecue at work.
Brought wieners and hot fresh buns.
Now I’m unemployed.
Filed under Poems
I think if I were an animal
I’d be a sea anemone
Because they’re not a popular animal
And I like to be left alone.
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When you read a job application
And ask what the position pays
And the interviewer says “It’s minimum wage
“But each year there’s a 3-percent raise!”
Filed under Poems
The Seahawks were back on the field
With a brand new head coach that we wield.
This is so nee and awesome!
Wait? Our D’s still a possum?
And yep, seems our fate is still sealed.
Filed under Poems
I have a cat named Marshmallow.
He’s fat, lazy, stupid, and more.
I urge you to write him on your ballot
For president, 2024.
Filed under Poems
There once was a dragon named Fred
Who didn’t want to end up dead,
So he went to the vet
And said “I’m a pet”
And now he is loved and well fed.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 