I hope we never discover
Another element for the periodic table
‘Cause you know they’d name it “Deeznutzium”
Or something like that if they’re able.
Tag Archives: Short
Juneteenth
Today’s the day we celebrate
When the government was two years late
To tell the slaves that they were free
And now owe tax on property.
Filed under Poems
How Rappers Shop For Homes
The house was uninhabitable
But I am uninhibitable…
To squat is inevitably unethical
But the crime’s rhymes are inimitable!
Filed under Poems
Do Your Job!
I get that without spiders
Other bugs would be more numerous,
But I still find it sorta said
And even moreso humorous
That despite there being webs everywhere
The bugs are still voluminous.
This is the dilemma of our time
And a cornerstone of humanness.
Filed under Poems
Rare Steak: Origins
Once, a guy ordered a steak
But the chef’s credentials were fake.
He said “Blood means its yummy.
“Raw is good for your tummy.”
And now that’s just what people make.
Filed under Poems
Now THIS Is A Social Movement I Can Get Behind
If we all just agreed not to buy
What we see on TV for a year
We could put advertising behind us
And forever be ad-free and clear
Filed under Poems
Imagine The Worst Thing In The Universe… Then Make It An LGBTQ Miniseries
Whenever you say “This is the worst”
Just ask yourself questions three:
1. How long will it last?
2. Have I seen worse in the past?
3. Is it going to be bought by Disney?
Filed under Poems
The Feminine Paradox
She said “I love ventriloquists.”
Her vagina said “That’s right!”
In my defense, she laughed at that
But I’m still on the couch tonight.
Filed under Poems
Pride Month, Day 1
“I went to the club and blew 50 bucks”
Is a normal enough thing to say
Unless you happen to be a deer
And especially one who is gay.
Filed under Poems
The Only Difference Is One Candidate Was Convicted
There once was a hush-money trial
That went on for quite a while.
The jury used their melon
And decided he’s a felon
But he’ll still win votes with a smile.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 