There once was a man with a wife
Who, for some reason, valued his life.
Twas the week of the shark,
So he went to the park
Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.
There once was a man with a wife
Who, for some reason, valued his life.
Twas the week of the shark,
So he went to the park
Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.
Filed under Poems
On the one hand, I’m disappointed.
On the other hand, I am ok
That I don’t have to spend my whole afternoon
Watching both teams I hate get to play.
Filed under Poems
There once was a high football tier
That played Winter and Fall every year.
One day a guy tripped
But it wasn’t in the script
But the refs smiled and said “Hold my beer.”
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I entered an area
Where hard hats were required.
Now I need to find a hot female hat
Or I just might get fired.
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I have a male cat
Who holds grudges and is sweaty.
I am happy that
I’m the owner of Tom Petty.
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I’m an unemployed metalworker
And I start my resumé with
“I’ll slap hot things for money”
Then sign my name: Will Smith
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Democracy is when you’re thirsty
And you long for a cool cup of juice
And the grocer says “We’ve only got soy milk
“Or Wd-40. You choose.”
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If you ask guests at a restaurant
“Would you like to try the lamb?”
They might say “yes”, or maybe “no”,
Or “I don’t give a damn.”
But if you ask those same guests
If they prefer starfish tartar
You’ll find them much more likely
To prefer the lamb by far.
Filed under Poems
Just stand here and look around
And see the zombies, hear the sound…
You’ll be ok. The only failing
Is if you trip over the railing.
Filed under Poems