Today we give thanks
For what makes us happy:
A person, a memory, a song…
If you ain’t got nothing
For which to be thankful
Be thankful this poem ain’t long.
Tag Archives: Short
By Reading This Limerick You May Or May Not Open A Parallel Universe
There once was a cat of Schrodinger
Who wanted to give science the finger.
He said “I will stay
“And also walk away.”
Thus he simultaneously did and did not linger.
Filed under Poems
OMG Dad, Why Can’t You Understand Vulture Is A Student Of The World?
Their wonce was amen from Bolder
Hoo new mai dotter end tolled hurr
“Eye a door ewe, Amanda
“‘Cause u un-derstanneduh
“Spelling sin the I of de beholdre.”
Filed under Poems
It’ll Be Safe, I Promise!
The people aboard
The Titanic never heard
“Nah babe, just the tip.”
Filed under Poems
The Good Girl And The Criminal, Abridged
My girlfriend likes to relax in the evening
But I like to step up a notch.
She said “Let’s watch Steel Magnolias.”
I said “Let’s steal Magnolia’s watch.”
Filed under Poems
“Thinks Before Speaking” Is An Underrated Job Skill
I lost my job this morning.
I was notified by text:
“Thanks for your time with us.
“Good luck on whatever comes next.”
I knew after I told my boss
My thoughts I couldn’t debate it…
“100 million sperm, and somehow
“You’re the one who made it?”
Filed under Poems
A Serving Is What You Eat On One Sitting, Right?
I used to wonder why grocery stores
Wrote the word “Oreos” on the box
When they only pack one serving.
Also, why’ve I outgrown my socks?
Filed under Poems
Language: Olde vs. New
A missionary came to me
And my friend Javier
Asking “Do you accept Jesus
“As your Lord and Savior?”
Another missionary
Fulfilled his role
By asking “Do you want an extended warranty
“For your soul?”
Filed under Poems
Pasta My Prime
Tonight my inspiration is limited.
The scope of it is teeny,
So suffice it to say
I found out today
A wimpy Italian is a lingweeny.
Filed under Poems
