I looked at the thong and what it covered
(Or more of what it didn’t hide).
I saw that arcing crack and had to ask
The most pressing question: “Butt Y?”
Tag Archives: Silly
The White Guy Equivalent Is “Orr and Stafford”
Which Mexican guy is a sailor?:
Señor Gonzalez or Señor Cruz?
Well, Gonzalez does the actual sailing…
Cruz just crew the cruise.
Filed under Poems
hAIkus
If you say to me
“Epistemological”
I will think you’re smart.
————————————
If you say to me
“Cheese is made from poodle eggs”
I will think you’re smart.
————————————
If you say to me
Anything at all, that’s fine.
I’m not built to judge.
Filed under Poems
Woe Is Me (Millennial Edition)
“I need to write a poem”
Isa thing I say many a night.
That’s usually followed by a poem like this.
Thus is the artist’s plight.
Filed under Poems
Fishing For Likes?
There was like a guy from like somewhere
Who like liked like things like like long hair.
He like like-liked this girl
Whose hair had like a curl
And he was like “I like like-like you. So there.”
Filed under Poems
In Retrospect, The End Result Is The Same
Since democracy is suspect now
I’d like to propose a solution
That could make our governments honest
If we ensure proper execution:
Everyone who wants something to change
Writes down their ideas. Then next
They go in a pit with a cheetah or two
And whoever lasts longest we elect.
On the bright side, the number of lawyers will drop
And less people will share their dumb thoughts;
On the other hand, cheetahs don’t like to eat metal
So we’d end up all governed by bots…
Filed under Poems
Sorry Mom!
Yesterday I launched a book.
My mother went to take a look.
She clicked on the link I left
And found herself feeling bereft.
Turns out the link I left was lame
And I’m the only one to blame.
Try this link instead! I hope
That this time I am not a dope.
If Only My Hat Could Use Google Images…
I entered an area
Where hard hats were required.
Now I need to find a hot female hat
Or I just might get fired.
Filed under Poems
Two Celebrity Poems (Add Your Own In The Comments)
I have a male cat
Who holds grudges and is sweaty.
I am happy that
I’m the owner of Tom Petty.
—————————————————————
I’m an unemployed metalworker
And I start my resumé with
“I’ll slap hot things for money”
Then sign my name: Will Smith
Filed under Poems
My Inner Child Is Sitting Down, But All The Other Inner Children Are Standing Up And Moving
Sammeeches are yummiyums
And cheekens good in bellies
And I like grapes and appleswoss
And chocolate-caramellies.
I can eat twenty tootsie rollups
And an asparagoos stawck as well.
I’m a master of munching and yummiyums
But not twalking or nowing how to spell.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 