If I met an invertebrate
I’d probably try to flirt a bit.
I’d say “You look fine”
“With your lack of a spine“
Then possibly lift up her skirt a bit.
Tag Archives: Silly
Love Song, Circa 5th Grade
Love is like anything;
It makes you feel stuff
And when you experience it
You might just go “whuff.”
It’s sort of like “Whoa now”
And also like “Whee”
And that is what true love
Feels like to me.
Filed under Poems
When She Bakes You Brownies On A First Date
Your eyes are as pink as the ocean.
Your hair is like marshmallow fluff.
I don’t know if our love is true yet
But I know that your drugs are real.
Filed under Poems
The Fantasy World Has More Normal Names For Its Cities
There once were some nerds from Puyallup
That imagined some monsters to wallop.
They played D&D
‘Til they passed level 3
And yes, that’s an actual place… Puyallup.
Filed under Poems
Or They Might Just Be Cats… But I Feel Like This Gives These Deadly Predators Some Character
I wonder if the tigers at the zoo
Feel embarrassed when they have to poo
But they’re too proud for admitting
That they’re timid about shitting
And that’s why they always look so blue?
Filed under Poems
The One-Question Political Test
What is the answer?
a. Jesus
b. Patriarchy
c. Climate Change
d. Freedom
Filed under Poems
Phoning This One In…
There once was a phone with low battery
That I tried to charge with some flattery.
I said, “Hey there Samsung.
“You look very well hung.”
But it died and now I can’t be chattery.
Filed under Poems
Ooh! Proof! Also Pool And Book And…
All good things have double o’s
And not just double-o-seven.
There’s good food and a good poop
And good wood can be heaven.
Also see spoonful of sugar,
Parenthood, toothsomeness, and the zoo.
Unless you’re a toothless bloodthirsty cooter
I’m sure you’ll agree with me too!
Filed under Poems
When Nobody Gets You But Your Online Friends
A pack of wolves descends upon
The injured doe, devouring
All they can reach, the meat which they
Find ever so empowering.
Behind the pack, one wolf holds back
And types into its phone
“I’m vegan and my family’s like totally weird
“Hashtag wolf, hashtag lone.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 