I wonder if animals watching TV
Think every show is just a human Lassie:
“Oh look! A talking human is saving the day.
“It makes its funny noises and everything is ok.”
Tag Archives: Silly
Ye Olde Thug Lyfe
If I were a rapper I’d write some sick rhymes
About crimes and hard times and increasingly warm climes
But instead I’m a blogger and I’m writing these verses
Without curses so my readers won’t go out and steal purses.
Instead of glorifying living as a thug out on the street
I’m all for the institution’s safe and sanctioned meet-and-greet
And if you thinkin’ I’m a sellout I’ll correct you: If you think
Anything I’ve written here‘s worth paying for… go get a shrink.
Greenbacks aren’t a flowing to this blogger’s cargo pockets
Like they do for Tommy Cruise or to that baller Tyler Lockett’s
But I’m rewarded with a gift that no celebrity gets:
I can wear sweat pants to Costco and no one gives two shits!
Filed under Poems
1st Graders And I Have This In Common
Haikus are very
Very very very ver
Y easy to write
Filed under Poems
Geolo-Gee Whiz!
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
But Hey, Four Rhymes!
As the sun sets in the evening
And the frogs croak merrily
I sit upon a bed and write
A poem, verily.
When read aloud it would be best
To speak most airily
For the effort I put in could be
Described as “barely”.
Filed under Poems
Peace Talks
Bumblebee, bumblebee, why do you fly
When life would be better
If you would just die?
Human, human, why do you hate
When you eat the plants
That we bees pollenate?
Bumblebee, bumblebee, sure you’re ok
In a creepy bumbley
Bug sort of way.
Human, human, we’re both Earth’s daughter
Wait, why do your hands
Hold aloft that fly swatter?
Filed under Poems
If This Hawaiian Poem Makes You Laugh A Little, Is It A Low Ha?
There once was cowie from Maui
Who visited Kauai. How he
Got there we don’t know
But he was impressed, so
He exclaimed to all “Wowie zowie!”
Filed under Poems
Next Time I’ll Choose A Muse Who Understands Hypothetical Questions!
Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?
Wait, really?
Ok then, I guess…
Filed under Poems
English
If “baby” is an infant
And “baby” means a loved one
And “baby” is taking care of people
And “baby” is an easily-offended someone
Then the act of taking care of
A weak beloved child
Is to baby your baby baby baby
And baby, I think that’s wild!
Filed under Poems
Ladies, Learn To Reboot A Router
If your husband is pooping
And taking his time
So that hours have passed
And the scent is a crime
There’s no need to bother
With a knock or a shout;
His business will finish
When the Wifi goes out.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 