Here is the church,
There is the steeple.
Open the doors
And see all the people
Saying “Look at that steeple!
“What a dope church!
“Now let’s get some coffee
“And buy Jesus merch!”
Tag Archives: Stupid
Maybe Poverty Is Good?
A week ago five billionaires
Paid half a million each
To sink into the ocean
To within Titanic‘s reach.
Today, a billionaire put up
For sale a chance to fly
Into space, which makes my face
Nonverbally scream “Why?”
Filed under Poems
Nauti Nauti…
The wealthy paid a submarine
To view the ocean bottom
Whereat the wreck of Titanic was seen
Until the ocean caught ‘em.
Now missing, they have headlines made
Of a voyage doomed to fail
Though I see not a tragedy
But wish more elites might sail.
Filed under Poems
A Day In The Life Of A Hero
I’m going to a climate conference
To inspire both hope and confidence
But I’m not sure which jet I should ride
So I’ll take both. I’m too rich to decide!
Filed under Poems
Next Time I’ll Choose A Muse Who Understands Hypothetical Questions!
Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?
Wait, really?
Ok then, I guess…
Filed under Poems
Lord Aberforth, Earl of Wigginsby, Doth Endorse This Message
I think the reason the ghost population
Has gone down in recent years
Is probably that it’s not fun to see people
Discuss the political stance of light beers
Filed under Poems
Campaign Ads, 2028
My fellow Americans
I stand before you today
To declare my intention to run
For president of the USA.
If I am elected
I promise to unite
A country that’s divided
Between the left and right.
Speaking of right, my campaign is sponsored
By Google Energy Drink.
It’s made with all of your favorite flavors
Because data showed us how you think.
Consume three cans of GED a day
Or we’ll share your browser history.
But back to how I’ll save our nation…
Find out tonight at 10:00 on History!
Filed under Poems
Why People Don’t Write Sonnets Anymore
As the auburn sunrise comes to settle
O’er the rocky hillside by the pine tree
Two boys compete to test th’others mettle
And by “boy” we mean those who cannot biologically experience pregnancy
And we do acknowledge that some who can experience pregnancy do identify as boys
And some who cannot do not identify as boys, but as ceilings
And then they hit each other with their Star Wars episode XXVIII toys
And were told “No D’CarsenIsabellaLiam”, which hurt their feelings
So their parents apologized, whether
Or not that was the thing for them to do
And they sang “Hail to the Chief” together
As the auburn sunset signaled curfew.
Filed under Poems
The Benefits Of Not Being Tan
In a world without coyotes
And a scarcity of ginger ale
I’d take comfort in the notion
That my legs would still be pale.
Filed under Poems
First Graders Be Like…
Some like it hot.
Some like it cold.
Some people just learned how to change the font color.
And also make text bold.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 