My new religious theory
Is that the “people in between“
Who deserve neither Heaven nor Hell
Go to a place in between
Where fires burn and humans
Suffer terrible humiliation
While the skies are blue and sunny
And most ignore the devastation.
After further thinking
Of where such a plane my be
There seems to be a candidate
That makes good sense to me,
Where Hell and Heaven intertwine
And fate goes either way.
I present to you my limbo:
California, USA
Filed under Poems
My only doubt about World War 3
Is whether it will be fought
By actual guys with an Xbox controller
Or the guy shooting back they call “bot”.
Filed under Poems
Speeches are just plays
Where nobody remembered the part
Where you dispense with “further ado”
And let the acting start.
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To get a job in the CIA
You just show up one day
And if nobody catches you
You’re a spy! That sounds okay…
But getting a job in the TSA
Is not so cut and dry
Because if you show up at all
Your boss will wonder why.
Filed under Poems
Growing up means being sleepy
But working anyway,
Trying hard to not be creepy
While you earn your pay,
And maybe plotting a murder or two
But not giving that away.
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What if we made some bread
That tastes like boring sugar
And made it into a straw
With a texture like a booger
And named it after an herb
That’s entirely unrelated?
Turns out it’s a best seller
And that’s why I’m frustrated.
Filed under Poems
There once was fish that was blue
And instead of just one there were two
And another was black.
Red you say? That sounds wack!
And also the fish were gay too.
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And the Lord said unto Abraham
“You shall not eat unclean animals.
“Also, guess what I decided to name pig meat?”
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A is for abbreviation
Which means shortening things.
Z is for zat’s all folks,
Now go do kid things.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 