Tag Archives: Travesty

Trials of an Amateur Magician

Massachusetts, 1692:

They say a woman joked

Telling her husband, “I got your nose!”

Within an hour the fire was stoked…

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Fairy Yales

Once upon a time

There was a tiny little rock

Who was the world’s preeminent scholar

On the early works of Bach.

The little rock was erudite

Yet its career went South

On account of probably white people

And, also, its lack of mouth.

——————————————————–

Once upon a time

A woman majored in STEM

And made millions teaching women

The ways that men were bad to them.

She could have been an engineer

And done science and stuff

But instead she told the patriarchs

She wasn’t paid enough.

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And You Thought No One Would Ever Love You!

I close my eyes, remembering

The day we almost met.

You were taking Cynthia

(Your puppy) to the vet.

You were glowing beautifully,

A tear drop in your eye,

And I was in my plain white van,

My third time driving by.

I almost parked, almost went in,

Almost told you my name

But I kept on making four right turns

And keeping things the same.

Sometimes I close my eyes and think

Of how we might have been

But it’s best for both of us if I,

For now, remain unseen.

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New Study Shows Women Are “Marrying Down…”

My car may have it’s share of dings,

I may not buy you fancy things,

I might forget your name a lot,

I might comment “Your mom is hot,”

I might not read your favorite book,

I’ll seldom clean and never cook,

But if you become my wife

You can wear sweat pants for the rest of your life!

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Dictionaries: For The Days Your Mind Doesn’t

This evening I’m in a way

Where I feel I must say

That I feel my condition

Is quite laodicean

And thus I call it a day.

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Klingon Humor

“chay’ leghlaHbe’wI’ chaDo’maq SoH?”

tlhob HoD picard.

wo’rIv, jatlh “ghoS nude bIQ’a’ HeH’e’

“‘ej ‘e’ ‘oH let DaqaSmoHbej.”

——————————————————–

“How do you spot a blind man?”

Asked Captain Picard.

Worf said, “Go to a nude beach

“And you’ll see that it’s not hard.”

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Plot Twist: They’re Canadian

My ducks were quacking noisily,

Apparently upset.

That’s as close to “In a row”

As my ducks ever get.

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