Today I ran a 5K race
With dribbling rain upon my face.
I paid thirty dollars to
Earn a free donut to share with you.
Now I’m soggy, tired, and sore
And I weigh at least a donut more,
But I see a smile in your eyes
And that is why I exercise.
Tag Archives: True Story
Yes, I Owned A Walkman. Why Do You Ask?
Let me walk you through a moment
Of what I call “being me.”
Instead of streaming music
And paying a monthly fee
I plugged in my computer
From around 2008,
Pressed power on at 6:15
And it booted up by 8:00,
Loaded up my iTunes
From before it was an app
Then uploaded some files
That will make my right foot tap,
Plugged in my phone and synced it
For an hour and a half
Then enjoyed my music free of charge
With a joyful millennial laugh.
Filed under Poems
Who Needs A Kid When You Have…
Big fat ginger cat
Satan in a fluffy ball
He deserves more food
Filed under Poems
Where Mein Readers Aht?
As a blogger, it’s satisfying
When I get a notification
That says a lot of people are viewing my site
And I check on the location
And see three-hundred thirty-seven
Views from Germany
And I know that for some reason
The spambots have chosen me.
Filed under Poems
Tourism
I saw a commercial on TV
For the state of Illinois.
Apparently, they have a restaurant
And a museum too. Oh boy!
I’m packing my bags and dreaming
Of my grand midwest escape
Where the humidity is thick
And so is the red tape!
Filed under Poems
True Story (Unfortunately)
Tonight, when playing pickleball
I did a little dance
While trying to smack that fickle ball
And oops! I ripped my pants!
I learned to play more cautiously.
Also, for what it’s worth
I’ve secured my reputation
As the whitest man on Earth.
Filed under Poems
Evening Cuddles
Fat cat on my lap goes splat
And I pat his fat and that is that.
I rub and rub all ‘round his roundness
Until I question my mental soundness.
I sploop his leg and bwork his boop
And give his little gleeb a ploop
And then he bites and runs away
And thus I end another day.
Filed under Poems
Je ne peux pas me marier parce qu’il y a un dinosaure dans l’église
Duolingo says I’m wrong
When I type “La buste” instead of “Le buste”
But it also told me it couldn’t get married because there was a dinosaur in the church
So I’m not really sure who to trust.
Filed under Poems
Before and After
Hot tub in the snow
Warm and cozy, loving life
Whatcha mean, “Get out”?
Filed under Poems
I Wrote The First Line… But I Ain’t No Quitter
There once was a form called the FAFSA
Which asked for my tax info. Laughs, ya?
Then my wife had to say
That yes, I did pay,
All to get zero money. That’s a gaffe-sa!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 