Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Tag Archives: Trump
Orange Man And Red Riding Hood Friends Now
There once was a big evil wolf
Who sought a young girl to engulf.
He put on Grandma’s dress
And caused major distress.
Now he’s banned from America’s gulf.
Filed under Poems
The End Of An Era
There once was a puppet named Joe
And what he did he doesn’t know.
Tomorrow he leaves
And while blue-hair girl grieves
We’ll welcome back orange MAGA bro.
Filed under Poems
In One Ear And Out The Same Ear
If I ever try to be president
I’ll be a republican household name
Because if the other sise doesn’t like me
They don’t know how to aim.
Filed under Poems
The Only Difference Is One Candidate Was Convicted
There once was a hush-money trial
That went on for quite a while.
The jury used their melon
And decided he’s a felon
But he’ll still win votes with a smile.
Filed under Poems
The Hero We Need…
So mesa was a thinkin’
Yousa complainin’ all about
This election between the grandpas
Who’s a handle and a spout
‘Cause a woopsie in white house
Followed by an oopsie-dee
Makes you thinky, given options,
You’lda even vote for meeee!
Filed under Poems
Happy Election Day!
Today, America extends a query
To test the ever-popular theory
And forever end the debate
About whether love is stronger than hate.
We’re given two men with no virtues to note
And told it’s important to go out and vote.
One choice is to vote that you love Barron’s dad,
Or else just to vote that you think “Orange Man Bad.”
As for the white guy who’ll earn half the votes
Who creeps people out and has quotable quotes…
One guy will win, half the nation will cry,
And celebrities still won’t move to Canada… sigh.
Filed under Poems
Then I Gave Death the “Come Hither” Look…
Whenever death may lurk nearby
And threaten you with pain
Know that if the threat is true
You’ll never watch a debate again…
Filed under Poems
GI Average Joe: Halfass Commando
My squad was pinned down
By ten-thousand Iraqis.
We stood not a chance
Against all Allah’s lackeys.
Somehow we survived
And came home from the war,
I with one right leg less
And one purple heart more.
When the big day arrived
To get my medal from Trump
The pres stuck it on,
Said “congrats on the stump!”
Now I live a life
Where I needn’t pack heat,
Where I save cash on tickets
When I buy half a seat.
People notice my injury
Although I don’t tout it.
I keep on with my life
And there’s no butts about it!
In a few years I’ll die
And they’ll speak at my wake.
“He was not and had not
“An asshole,” they’ll spake.
And then I’ll be in heaven
Or maybe in Hell.
Either way, no VA
So I think I’ll be well.
Filed under Poems
It Almost Begins…
Tomorrow is the fateful day
Where 45% of America shouts “hooray”
And the major event will be watching those
Who will not be watching the new Pres’s prose.
Tomorrow the meme will in the white house sit
And whether you smile or snarl or spit
You have to admit (or at least you should)
Until 2020 Twitter’s gonna be good.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 