It is a truth we find self-evident
That the people who make the laws
Are the type to drink turtle smoothies
With biodegradable straws.
Tag Archives: Truth
She Played Another Game With Me…
Her epic trapper spidey
Killed my supersonic bat-dragon.
Apparently the divorce is off
And we’re back to love and naggin’!
Filed under Poems
And You Thought Monopoly Ruined Friendships…
My magic thunder doggy
Killed my fiancee’s fairy horse.
Yes, she played Pokemon with me.
Yes, we’re headed for divorce.
Filed under Poems
Travelogue, Volume 2
I flew home on a plane through the air
Then I drove in a car on a road.
Now I’m sitting butt-down on a chair
And my creativity has yet to fully load.
Filed under Poems
Rainbow Town
Big green steamboat
With two red wheels
Casting great white wakes
In the chocolate Mississippi water.
In the distance, a brick-red city
With lights in tans and teals
And the iron evening air
Is growing blacker, hotter.
The brassy blast of cymbals
And a wailing silver sax
Play the blues for our reunion
And the clouds are stalwart brown.
I’m sitting in a steel chair
With rust like sealing wax
As a snowy egret flies into
The night in rainbow town.
Filed under Poems
Travel Traditions
I flew on a plane to New Orleans
And by now you know what that means:
I’m probably tired, and pleased to report
That this poem is late and also is short.
Filed under Poems
Another Night Of D&D
There once was a skeezy Paladin,
A sly assassin, a cheesy bard,
A moon priestess, an archer,
And they rolled the dice real hard.
They stopped a civil war of trolls
And saved a duke from bombs of magic
And they lived happily ever after
(Which is the opposite of tragic).
Filed under Poems
A Blessing In Disguise?
If I had a nickel
For every time I’ve wanted a nickel
I’d have enough to buy
At least one delicious pickle.
If I had a dollar
For every time I’ve wanted a dollar
I’d be so buried in delicious pickles
No one would hear me holler.
Filed under Poems
‘Merica Loves The Draft
Today’s the day that giant men
Who some describe as “ballers”
Get called by teams of athletes
To play games for millions of dollars
And older guys who used to play
And that one blonde chick enumerate
The reason why that particular guy
Will make their newfound team great.
Meanwhile, men who’re five-foot-two
But also weigh 300 pounds
Sit in bars and pound their chests
And buy each other rounds.
And somehow through the fog
Of testosterone and concealed erections
This moment matters more to most
Than national elections.
Filed under Poems
24 Hours Of Visibility And The Whole System Collapses…
I think for one day a year
All taxes should be ignored
And you’ll see how gas is a dollar less
And your check is twenty percent more
And as you drive your car on roads
With a single pothole, wonder
Why do we support “our side” so much
When both sides keep sucking us under?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 