Women will talk to their friends
About what their friends would say
If they knew what someone whose not their friend
Said “Hi” instead of “Hey”.
They’ll whisper all about a person’s
Clothes or hair or walk.
Guys don’t have this problem
Because male friends don’t talk.
When someone says “When was your last shower”
And you honestly can’t remember
That’s what most folks call “disgusting.”
I call it “September”.
Filed under Poems
Have you ever noticed
How a cat can lie down
On any surface at all
And just go to town,
Floppy, relaxed,
Happy as can be
On the edge of a bed
Or the top of a TV?
I wish I had the power
To flop anywhere
And be totally comfy
And free of all care
But instead I’m in bed now
And my heart rate is spiking
Because my pillow’s a little
Too warm for my liking…
Filed under Poems
Today I watched a once great team
Catch on fire, but die as steam,
Lead on offense by a bust
Who makes us say “In Smith We Trust.”
On the flip side now I know
How Michael Jackson puts on a show.
Do we suck? Yeah, probably!
But I still love the hawks, so whee!
Filed under Poems
No matter how bad a day you had
You’re not as bad off as the guy
Who made an SOS out of rocks beneath the overpass
In case a savior might fly by.
Filed under Poems
Apparently I’m talented
At playing rhythm games.
I can bop and press in time
And kick butt and take names.
If I were a younger soul
Perhaps I’d be a drummer
But instead I’m relegated to
Being a B-List plumber.
Filed under Poems
I places 3rd out of 4 teams
At the cornhole tournaments.
I scored 6 points in two games
And I’ve felt so manly since.
I also walked in a cardboard box
And fell on my cardboard face.
That’s a Wednesday afternoon
At my Summer place!
Filed under Poems
My girl made me a sandwich
And left a little note:
“Sandwich in the fridge. I love you!”
That was all she wrote.
That was all I needed
To get me through the day
And made every struggle, small and large,
Seem perfectly okay.
So when your boyfriend, husband,
Or another man declares
“Go make me a sandwich”
It shows you that he cares
Enough about your love to ask
For what he really needs.
If you want true love to grow
That’s how to sow the seeds.
Filed under Poems
Today I was a DJ
At a wedding for my friends.
It was great, but tiring
And thus this poem ends.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 