Women are possessed of powers
Men cannot explain
But sitting on the toilet for half an hour
Is strictly man’s domain.
Tag Archives: Women
When The Kamala Voters Go On a “Sex Strike”
The Donald got elected
And that makes me so depressed
‘Cause now I can’t go out at night
Wearing my Sunday best
To hit on green-haired feminists
Who think that I am Satan.
Oh well, I have my freedom
And more time for masturbatin’.
Filed under Poems
Knights May Be Scarce, But Fairies Are Thriving
You know how the female fantasy
Used to be being held in a tower
Until a brave prince came a calling,
Slayed a dragon, and exercised power?
Well, now the female fantasy
Is to be the brave dragon who can
And wondering why the princes won’t die
To save damsels who don’t need a man.
Filed under Poems
Honestly, Don’t Limit It To Just Movies
I think instead of IMDB
Or Rotten Tomatoes reviews
We just need a site to completely compile
Liberal white women’s reviews.
Then you can see which films don’t appeal
To Karen and Kaitlyn and co.
That would inform me much more directly
If a film will be funny or no.
Filed under Poems
The Feminine Paradox
She said “I love ventriloquists.”
Her vagina said “That’s right!”
In my defense, she laughed at that
But I’m still on the couch tonight.
Filed under Poems
THIS! IS! ZEROPERCENTBODYFAT…IMEANSPARTA
Tonight we watched 300
(My wife and I, that is).
I learned of Leonidas
And the courage that was his
To lead a band of brothers
To their deaths love and freedom.
My wife also enjoyed the abs
And told me that I need ‘em.
Filed under Poems
Why Won’t He Wife Me?
Everybody tells me that he’s poison
And is blood is made of boiling gasoline.
He’s never loved anybody more than himself
And he’s a barrel-chested killing machine.
He eats a baby bunny for his breakfast.
He’s got Bambi’s mommy mounted on the wall.
He’s a runner and a gunner and a scoundrel
And like OMG, I hope he’s six feet tall!
Filed under Poems
International Women’s Day
Across the world we celebrate
The folks with whom we wish to mate
Who possess many powers neat
But don’t know what they want to eat.
Without them the economy would crash
And people would buy more with cash.
The roads would probably be safer
And nobody would use the word “wafer”.
Clothes would only come in gray
And everybody’d end up gay
So I for one am grateful that
We have women, and that is that.
Filed under Poems
Live To Fight Another Month
There once was a man with a wife
Who, for some reason, valued his life.
Twas the week of the shark,
So he went to the park
Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.
Filed under Poems
On The Virtue Of Realistic Standards
What is a horse other than a unicorn
That doesn’t have a shiny horn
Or wings or pink hair or magical power
And never, ever takes a shower?
So why would you ever want a horse
When a unicorn is better with no recourse?
The answer, dear reader, in case you are stumped
Is precisely why even Tom Brady gets dumped.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 