Brevity is a virtue…
Perfect rhyming too
I have one of those
Tag Archives: Worse than usual
The Birds and the Seas
If you are a whale
Your parents probably sing
About how to safely do
The reproduction thing.
If you are a shark instead
The learning that’s essential
Is that some biting might be fun
As long as you are gentle.
If you’re in a school of fish
You’ll probably be fine
Unless you can puke out your guts
And your skin is covered in spines
Because if you’re the sea cucumber
It is my belief
You’re in a bit of danger
When teenage whales need relief…
Filed under Poems
Idioms, Like Pubic Hair, Are Better When Short
When life gives you lemons
You make lemonade
Then you give it to children
Who sell it and get paid
Then give you their money
Which your wife will then spend
And life gives you more lemons
And when will it end?
Filed under Poems
Haiku: When Someone Tells Me There Are More Than 2 Genders
Ha ha ha ha ha,
Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.
Wait, there’s more… (pause)… Ha.
Filed under Poems
When Someone Tells A Racist Joke And You Want To Warn Them To Stop, Apparently Shouting “ABORT!” Doesn’t Help…
If ever a black woman
Tries to defraud you
Here is a line you can say:
“Do I look like your baby,
“Because probably maybe
“I wasn’t born yesterday.”
Filed under Poems
Sometimes You Never Reach The Point
If I were a slug
I would say a lot of stuff
And eventually
If You Sing This Poem, We Might Be Soulmates
A B C D E F G
H I J K
L M N O
O O O’Reilly’s!
Auto parts!
Filed under Poems
When You At Least Remember the Important Part of the Limerick
There once was bobabezine
That slodda dee focus or line?
And burger da beep
Chodda wodda ga meep?
Soda wamegla SWEET CAROLINE!
Filed under Poems
If You Can Read This, Don’t Bother
Today is a holiday
As you likely know.
I ate. Now I’m lazy
So I’m gonna go.
Filed under Poems
But Hockey? There’s A Great Sport!
Soccer’s like “The Notebook:”
I’ve never watched for more than a minute,
I consider it nap-time
And don’t like anyone in it.
Soccer and I
Are also much alike
In that no one ever scores
And the entertainment it creates has unsatisfying conclusions.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 