Once upon an evening time
My mind could only find one rhyme,
So off I went with weariness
To sleep, and so should you.
Tag Archives: Worse than usual
At Least I Commit To Finishing Acrostics Though
I is for the intimacy we have yet to share
M is for the the many ways I show you I care
N is for how no one can compare
E is for “except that girl who has the pretty hair.”
V is for how very sorry I will claim to be
E is for that exceptional hair I never will unsee…
R is for I’m really sorry this time. Forgive me?
G is for the gift I’ll buy to say that I’m sorry
E is for how every day you give me another chance.
T is for the tightness you inspire in my pants
T is for your temperance, which totally rhymes with “dance”
I is for how I hope to rekindle our romance
N is for how nuts it is I ogle other girls
G is for “good thing I’m not into hair with sexy curls.”
L is for how light catches her hair as it unfurls…
A is for “Alright, alright! I’ll buy you some new pearls.”
I is for I really wish I were a better dude
D is for “Doggone it, if you weren’t such a prude…”
A is for apologizing for how I am lewd
G is for the golden curls falling upon the nude…
A is for “At least I didn’t finish the previous line.”
I is for the infinite ways you, my dear, are fine.
N is the never being bad again if you’ll remain as mine.
! is the punctuation after you vehemently decline.
Filed under Poems
Yeah… Not Inspired Lately
All these folks are making jokes
Like why was six afraid of seven?
So seven ate nine, that’s well and fine
But I’ve got a joke sent from heaven:
Why were e people
Afraid of the letter W?
Cause White people.
Haha, hehe, whoo!
Filed under Poems
Enough Of Pthis Greek Shipt
There once was a guy named Ptolemy
Who was ptaller than just about any ptree.
And wouldn’pt you know it
I don’pt have a punchline
But I pthink you get the tpoint.
Filed under Poems
Imagery…
He said “Hey there baby.
“Want to date a carpenter?”
She said “I would rather
“French kiss a pencil sharpener.”
Filed under Poems
Also: Free Healthcare, Renewable Energy, And The Gyms Pay YOU
What if all the billionaires
Just stood out on the street
And walked around in circles
And challenged everyone they’d meet
To have a Pokemon battle
That they would surely lose
And give the winner money?
But alas, they’re only jews.
Filed under Poems
All True, But It Should Have Ended Eight Lines Sooner
If you put yogurt into a tube
It changes its name to Gogurt.
If you put yogurt into a friendship
It changes its name to brogurt.
If you plant yogurt deep in the forest
Someday it just might growgurt.
If you give it high heels and make it dance
You could say its a showgurt.
Sorry Mr. President, But You Can’t Come Back To Disneyland
Everything was going well
Until I ate that Taco Bell…
For one glorious ride I was a fountain
In the very first car upon Splash Mountain.
Filed under Poems
Shocking, But More Power To Him, Even Though He Misspelled It (Inspired By Current Events)
My buddy made a statement
That I didn’t really hear
So I looked at him and asked
“Volt times ampere?”
Apparently that wasn’t
The response for which he’d planned,
Thus he retorted “What?”
And I said “I’m shocked you understand!”
Filed under Poems
It’ll Get Better Soon… Maybe (Probably Not : )
Yesterday I wrote a joke
And thought I’d write more later.
By later I had decomposed
Into a couch potater.
From the fact ai wrote “potater”
I suspect that you can see
This week has not inspired
My most vibrant artistry.
So tonight I have a fallback
That I’ve used in ages past
Where I write a bit on writing
And use words like “grand” and “vast.”
I make questionable decisions
And lines with uneven meter,
And rap up the inanity
By rhyming with saltpeter.
Filed under Poems
