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Category Archives: Poems
This Is What Happens When You Don’t Click “Like”
I’ve worked hard the past few days
But this is not my work that pays
And thus I write one stanza here.
Go read the stuff I wrote last year.
Filed under Poems
An Excerpt From Disney’s Cancelled Musical, “Beelzebabe”
I awake to a nightmare. The heat is infernal
Here in the land of damnation eternal
Where I was born, and where I can never die.
My homework is done, my chores are complete,
My collar is starched, and my bedroom is neat,
And yet there’s my dad giving me the evil eye.
I’d like to have breakfast in silence,
But the demons are having a feast
On faith, hope, and love… oh, and entrails…
Here in the domain of the beast!
I’m just a kid! I did nothing bad!
I’m just down here all because of my dad!
Eternal strife’s just a day in the life
Of Stan, Satan’s son.
When people sin or they touch themselves
They end up here, or so says the Bible.
I have done neither and yet somehow here I must stay?
I never knew who my mother was.
Who would make love to the Prince of Hatred?
For all I know Lucifer might just maybe be gay?
I’m born of spite, empty of light,
Nine layers deep and yet still I do right?
Why is this glee deep within me,
Stan, Satan’s Son?
I am the precocious instead of atrocious.
I always say “thank you” and “please.”
I can’t help but bother my nefarious father,
Who you call Mephistopheles.
Up in the sky, when the blood clouds part,
I feel in my decomposed heart a leaping,
Picturing worlds with fresh air, vegans, even romance.
Then I’ll go early to torment school,
Pausing to clean up a pool of lava
Hiding in alleys to sing hymns and, sometimes, to dance.
It’s been a while since I saw a smile.
It has been eons since I’ve had fun.
Why’s this my fate? Why can’t I just hate?
Love,
Stan
Satan’s Son
P.S. If you’re in Hell
Be like me: Rebel.
(Organ plays “dun dun DUN!)
Filed under Poems
A Poem for Folks Who Specify Their Pronouns
Roses are violet
And violets are rose.
That’s what they said,
So I guess that’s what goes?
Filed under Poems
What’s In A Nest?
Let me show you my nest,
The place I rest my head,
Full of feathers and down,
The protection we shed.
We’ll regrow them in time.
They adorn my haven,
Nothing but sticks and mud
And a home for a raven.
My nest’s in a tree.
The tree’s made by rain.
Rain makes my wings heavy
And makes flying pain.
If the sun comes around
And then refuses to set
I’ll have no tree or nest,
So I pray to be wet.
Bugs and worms fill me up
So I may keep eggs warm
So my nest will be full
With a small raven swarm
Who complain of the rain
And fear losing a feather
And I don’t mind their kind
And I treasure “together.”
Soon they’ll be showing
A tree with their nest
And “together” is gone
And it’s all for the best.
Filed under Poems
To Infinity… And Beyond
Here’s the latest quandary
That kept me up all night:
I thought I was bad at self-evaluation
And it turns out I was right…
Filed under Poems
American Political Redux
Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.
Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,
But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses
Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”
Filed under Poems
When Movies Aren’t In Chronological Order
Dab and Deb were walking
To meet up with Dib and Dob.
(Dub was nowhere to be seen).
Then Dab began to sob.
The first sentence is the beginning
And the third one is the ending.
Someone said “Smack Dab in the middle of it.”
Now wasn’t that mind-bending?
Filed under Poems
This Poem Rhymes If Your Accent Is Creative Enough
There once was an American skier
Who fell off a Canadian pier.
He yelled, “I broke my foot!”
Some bystanders asked, “What?”
Then one said, “Oh! His one-third of a meter!”
Filed under Poems
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Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 