I hope in the Harry Potterverse
There’s a chain of restaurants
That serve the tasty chicken wings
That every wizard wants.
This restaurant chain is called “Boobs”
And the waitresses are owls.
It would be a hoot to go there.
Sincerely, JK Rowls.
Category Archives: Poems
When Was The Last Time A Guy With Abs Smiled? I Rest My Case
A boring, shirtless-selfie guy
With pictures of his travels
Briefly loves bikini-babe…
A love that soon unravels.
Alas, the love so brief in time
Creates a permanent child.
This all could have been avoided
If Mr. shirtless-selfie smiled.
Filed under Poems
Social Development Marches On
Once upon a time
A guy decided, “Hey
“What if I called people who
“I don’t agree with ‘Gay?'”
Everybody went along
Until a recent date
When some guy said, “What if instead
“We called bad people ‘Straight?'”
Then a third guy spoke his mind:
“Why not just disagree
“While still speaking with respect
“For our adversary?”
Guy one looked at guy two
And guy two said “Lol… gay!”
Then they lynched the third guy
And all conflict went away.
Filed under Poems
Guest Poem by Katy Ivers
Two Types of Folks Down at the Creek
Saturday’s our day down at the creek
After working one bleak workweek
You wanna catch a trout,
We wanna bash about.
You want some peace,
We want the po-lice.
You wanna photograph a deer
We wanna drink a case o’ beer… Each
You wanna stay in the country all night long
We wanna party worthy of a country song
Feel Inspired to share your own terrible poetry? Email nominations for guest poems to TheDailyTravesty@yahoo.com
Filed under Poems
Happy Birthday Mom!
A mother’s like a brother
If a brother were a mom.
There’s no other to smother;
You’re her one and only “da bomb.”
She’s comfy and inviting
And onto her you do glom.
My mother made me write this
And I wish her much aplomb!
Filed under Poems
But Seriously…
At 10:22 in the morning
I think of naught but bliss,
But at 10:22 PM
I think of stuff like this:
If the number of pedophiles goes up
And so do most kids’ weight
I wonder why we haven’t seen
More strong people of late?
Filed under Poems
Mistakes Have Been Made
You say you were gloomy,
For quite a long span
When you were a woman
In need of a man.
You say you were sad,
But that’s nothing but talk.
Think of fish without bicycles
Who instead had to walk!
Filed under Poems
When She Doesn’t Approve Of Your Job
Work was hard to come by
So I became an exorcist.
Alas, this happy story
Comes with a bitter twist:
I sent unwanted spirits
From this world and set them free,
But my girl, who died in high school,
Called me rude and ghosted me.
Filed under Poems
Yet Another Example Of Racism In The Public Schools
Timmy and Betty drew pictures
And Timmy got an A
But teacher said to Betty
“Your picture’s not ok.”
Both drew their self portraits
But one was not alright;
Timmy used a black marker
But Betty’s pen was white.
Filed under Poems
TV Breakfasts
Mom and Dad both work all day
But when the morning breaks
You should see the breakfast
That Mama somehow makes:
A hundred stacks of pancakes,
Bacon, toast, and jam,
Four glasses of fresh orange juice
And a massive honey ham,
And upon this wondrous bounty
Cometh the kids and Dad
They grab a strawberry and run
And Mom’s not even mad…
Filed under Poems
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