Is it harder to be a single mom
Made pregnant at eleven
Or to be a single mom
When you’re a childless man at 87?
Category Archives: Poems
The Elites
Who once was an ideologue
Now bears a predacious heart,
A prerequisite for leadership
In politics and art.
Who once fantasized
Is yoked by sponsors unseen,
Separate from the audience
Who now seem unclean.
Who once dreamed of changing
Now for sameness votes,
Repelling their friends,
Trapped within their own moats.
Who is no longer meek
Now learns how and why
The meek inherit nothing
If the elites never die.
Filed under Poems
Made In China
Two Americans have died
From Coronavirus as of this date.
Also, 18,000 Americans
By the flu have met their fate.
That a virus 9,000-times less deadly
Than the flu can be this stressful
Is evidence enough for how
Asian folks are so successful.
Filed under Poems
Economics 101
I was almost bankrupt
But rather than admit defeat
I missed a few car payments
And boom! I’m back on my feet!
Filed under Poems
People Say “Forever” In Different Ways
If you think your girl is nerdy
But you need to check the facts
Say “I’ll love you as long as a winRAR 30-day trial”
And see how she reacts.
Filed under Poems
Teenagers Circa 150 AD
When people looked for Spartacus
For why-ever the heck they did
And all the Roman peasants
Done got the real Spartacus hid
And all of them were saying
“I’m Spartacus!” When they weren’t
I hope some guy was like “I’m Dave!”
And then he got, like, spurn’t.
Filed under Poems
Wardrobe Malfunction
Yesterday I was responsible:
Got dressed, and went to work.
Just ’cause I mixed the order up
Doesn’t mean I’m a jerk…
Filed under Poems
Cloud: My Vision
One day I asked the clouds to dance
And one replied, “Okay.”
It gave a hand of soft white rain
And lifted me away.
We spun and twirled together
To the songs of wind and sun.
Our only rhythm: happiness,
Our only purpose: fun.
I danced next with a hurricane,
A cloud made of the sea.
Throughout the dance, it’s center part
Had eyes only for me.
I danced among the lightning bolts,
With stars and endless dark,
Then I threw up the mushrooms
That I found in Central Park.
Filed under Poems
All Shapes And Sizes
If you’re 4’11
You can bear Sauron’s ring.
If you’re 6’11
You’re like Karl Malone.
If you’re 7’11
You can sell slurpies.
If you’re 5’11
You’re forever alone.
Filed under Poems
How To Offend Everyone In Eight Lines Or Less
She drove like she was asian.
She swam like she was black.
She jumped like a caucasian
With a dolphin on her back.
She wasn’t good at anything;
If she tried, she’d fail
But she was still ten-times better
Than every straight white male.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 