Obi Wan Kenobi
Was arrested yesterday.
He force-pushed a clone trooper
Who had been in his way.
“In my defense, the trooper
“Was swearing as I recall,”
Said Obi Wan, the Jedi
Who made an obscene clone fall.
Category Archives: Poems
Imagination Friend
They described me as a “figment.”
They told you I’m not real
Even though nobody asked me
Whether that’s the way I feel.
They told you to let go of me,
To let illusions end
As if it were no trouble at all
To walk out on a friend.
They closed their eyes and turned their backs
And said “You’re hearing voices.”
They gave you lots of pretty pills
And, lying, called them choices.
“It’s your imagination,”
So they said and so they thought.
They don’t know imagination
Is the truest friend you’ve got.
They’re offering a tunnel
Ending in a wall of light;
It’s up to you to say what’s true,
To help your friend, to fight.
Who’s to say you’re crazy
Just for seeing what they won’t?
They offer you your sanity
While I most proudly don’t.
So do you leave me lifeless
And go on with real living,
Accepting their reality
And chemical’s they’re giving
Or do you block the wall of light
And beckon me to stay
And live a life beside me
In a state of endless play?
To take the pill and up you grow
Or spit it out and smile?
Love, your imagination friend…
I’ll see you in a while.
Filed under Poems
Italy Is Weird
Most people think that XXX
Means that a movie’s dirty,
But there’s a Roman guy somewhere
Who thinks the movie’s 30.
Filed under Poems
Social Justice’s New Mission
Imagine there’s a world where aliens
Use human to wash dishes after a meal
And now you have a better sense
Of how sponges probably feel.
Filed under Poems
Social Justice’s New Mission
Imagine there’s a world where aliens
Use human to wash dishes after a meal
And now you have a better sense
Of how sponges probably feel.
Filed under Poems
Butt Weight… There’s More
I like girls who are polite
And women who are modest.
I like girls with joie de vivre
Although they’re not the hottest.
I like girls who demonstrate
A sense of generosity
Yet girls I meet prefer to flaunt
Their callipygiosity.
Filed under Poems
The Fourteenth and Fifteenth Words Prove I’m Lying
Someone approached my wife and asked her
“Is your man a good multitasker?”
My wife said, “No, he’s really bad.”
I stopped listening then so I could get mad.
Filed under Poems
Difficulties In Treating Dyslexia
If you need to do brain surgery
Make sure someone sees ya
‘Cause otherwise you might mix up
Euthanasia and anesthesia.
Filed under Poems
Post-Holiday Pleasures
What’s most nearly opposite
To gently falling rain,
Your lover’s gentle heartbeat,
And comfort of the brain?
The answer starts with “Someone”
And ends with “Else’s baby on a plane.”
Filed under Poems
Christmas Somewhen
Somewhen there’s a child
In the snowy winter night
Staring upward into Heaven
And onto the brightest star.
Somewhen there’s a desperate man
Who lost his latest fight
Who’ll spend the snowy evening
In the backseat of his car.
Somewhen a chilly gentleman
Will give one final cast;
A trip to somewhere lonely ends
With pulling on a rod.
Somewhen there’s a virgin
Sitting on her ass
As it carries her to Bethlehem
Where she’ll give birth to God.
Somewhen at the skating rink
He steals a midnight kiss
As the lights and drinks are flowing
And all life seems to rhyme.
Somewhen brothers stand as one
Amidst a toxic hiss
And proceed to kill themselves
One shot at a time.
Somewhen wrapping paper tears.
Somewhen candles light
Someone’s unspoken birthday wish
And others left forlorn.
Among the bullets, bottles, candles,
Kisses, stars, and night
I hope another savior
Somewhen in you is born.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 