So when you buy a phone
You buy a screen protector thing
That keeps your glass from breaking
When you do a stupid thing.
Another stupid thing though
Is that if they have this tech
Why don’t they make the glass from it?
Come on now! What the heck?
Category Archives: Poems
Oh, You’d Prefer To Hear About How He Ran Fast Instead? Typical…
This is Spot.
Spot is a dog.
Spot spots his “spot spot”
(Where spot peed on a log).
Spot spotted Spot’s “spot” spot
In Spot’s “spot spot” spot
But Spot’s spotter, Miss Potter,
Alas spotted not.
Since Miss Potter missed Spot’s spot,
In an act of good will
Spot pointed Miss Potter
But she spotted-not still.
Spot spotted Miss Potter
(His Spotter) her pay
And Spot spotted his “spot spot”
And sped on his way.
Filed under Poems
Same Goes For Penguins, Emus, Dodos…
If you ever see an ostrich
Don’t hit it with a stick
‘Cause when it comes to fight or flight
You know which it will pick.
Filed under Poems
When You’re World Class In A Subject Without Standardized Tests
I can fart for fifteen seconds
With moist gurgles or without
And play almost two octaves
With my gaseous booty shout.
“That’s great,” said Mr. CEO
But they gave the job away
To somebody whose farts cannot
Be heard three miles away.
Filed under Poems
East Vs. West — Tea Edition
When you sit down in America
To have a cup of tea
You pull out your fine china
As if you aren’t the bourgeoisie.
Meanwhile, In China
Do they grab a fancy gun
And call it “fine america”?
‘Cause that’s sounds way more fun!
Filed under Poems
Where Mein Readers Aht?
As a blogger, it’s satisfying
When I get a notification
That says a lot of people are viewing my site
And I check on the location
And see three-hundred thirty-seven
Views from Germany
And I know that for some reason
The spambots have chosen me.
Filed under Poems
I Can Call Him Black, But If He Says It Back That Misogy-tea
I’m a little teapot, short and stout.
I’m looking for a kettle six-foot or thereabout
Who makes a hefty salary, and when I shout
He wins me over and takes me out.
Filed under Poems
What I Learned In English Class
Haiku poems are great
‘Cause teachers can’t judge you for
Minimal effort
Filed under Poems
Just 51 More Years To Effective Governance
Little do we know that Mr. Beast
Has been filming a new video
That he started in 1776
And here’s how it will go:
“I locked every good politician
“In a cage for 300 years
“And if they stay the whole time
“They’ll be recognized by their peers.”
Filed under Poems
And For Seven Days We Had 2005 Again…
“Revenge of the Sith” is the best-selling movie.
“Oblivion” is the most popular game
And I just hope the rest of this year
Keeps this week’s agenda the same.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 