Lonely toilet, late at night.
I don’t need no stinkin’ light.
Wait? Why don’t I hear a splash?
Oops! Guess that bowl was the trash.
Category Archives: Poems
Pets
A dog can be bouncy, beautiful, brash,
A lover of children, a chewer of trash,
A pooper, a woofer, a good boy or girl,
Who can sit, stay, roll over, shake hands, even twirl.
A dog is a friend, a companion, a pillow,
With fur short like mown grass or long like a willow.
A dog will be loyal. Meanwhile, a cat
Will be catty, get fatty, and thus that is that.
Filed under Poems
A Meme Is Born…
It’s been 6 hours since Donald
Gave a speech at Capitol Hill
Expressing his opinions
And imposing his Donaldly will
But the question that America
Will be asking is not about that.
Instead, we’re asking what’s the deal
With Melania’s mile-wide hat.
Filed under Poems
The End Of An Era
There once was a puppet named Joe
And what he did he doesn’t know.
Tomorrow he leaves
And while blue-hair girl grieves
We’ll welcome back orange MAGA bro.
Filed under Poems
Technology Peaked At The CD Rom
If a company offered a product
That did not require ongoing billing
And was free from both ads and AI
That company would make a killing
And yet we get apps for our parking,
Our banking, our clothes, our TVs
And sure, they sell our lives to China
But at least the law makes them say “please”.
Filed under Poems
Bigger Hoard+Fewer Knights=Gender Studies!
Roses are red and violets are blue
And people say dragons aren’t real
But I think the dragons, between me and you,
Ran out of princesses to steal
And so turned to work outside their tradition
Like enrolling the maidens in college
Where they charge a fortune for the latest edition
Of textbooks for more useless knowledge.
Filed under Poems
The Poetical Political Spectrum Test
The Left
If your daughter tells you “Mother
“I am actually your son”
Then tell him that’s amazing
And he’s still your favorite one.
The Right
If she says she wants testosterone
Tell her she’s testost-on-her-own.
Filed under Poems
Animals Come In All Forms
“It’s my emotional support animal”, I said
But she just continued to glare.
She must prefer her support fluffy
But I like mine medium-rare.
Filed under Poems
They Always Said He Was Watching…
So I got a notification
That says God is following my blog…
I guess I’m no longer an atheist
And perhaps I should learn how to jog?
Filed under Poems
Now THAT Was Painful
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again
But Humpty was happy that all was resolved
Without the Minnesota Vikings involved.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 