If everybody in the world
Could be a fish for just one day
I think we’d finally be able to make
Gas station sushi go away.
Travel Traditions
I flew on a plane to New Orleans
And by now you know what that means:
I’m probably tired, and pleased to report
That this poem is late and also is short.
Filed under Poems
Because Sugar Comes In Many Colors
Today I learned something amazing…
The answer to a riddle:
Apparently there’s more than one
Flavor of Skittles!
Filed under Poems
Moral Ambiguity In The Marvel Culinary Universe
Honorable dessert, cake of courage,
Your frosting is noble, your filling is strong.
Honorable dessert, please answer me this:
Is wanting to eat you so wrong?
Filed under Poems
In The Distance, China Just Laughs
There once was an admiral poll
That asked “how to meet our recruiting goal”
Options one was “Raise pay”
Option two was “Be gay”
And the navy said “‘Kay queens, let’s roll”
Filed under Poems
I’d Take JarJar Binks At This Point
Obi-Wan Kenobi is our only hope
But will he run for president?
Another year of “nope”.
Filed under Poems
PG-All Ages
Sometimes the things you grew up with
Can make you feel good
Like riding bikes and Pokemon
And being misunderstood
But when you grow, perspectives change
And you see a world in pain
And it can’t be changed by touching base
Or building the best paper plane.
You see a world with real struggles
And problems with no answer
And you decide to try something
Like curing AIDS or cancer.
But as perspectives change, I think
Some problems would be solved
If more people bought a new five-speed
Or cared how monsters were evolved.
Growing up is nice and all
But never you forget
The world needs childish grownups too
For poetry and… stuff.
Filed under Poems
Another Night Of D&D
There once was a skeezy Paladin,
A sly assassin, a cheesy bard,
A moon priestess, an archer,
And they rolled the dice real hard.
They stopped a civil war of trolls
And saved a duke from bombs of magic
And they lived happily ever after
(Which is the opposite of tragic).
Filed under Poems
Island’ed On Another Pun
One time I went to Hawaii
And I let out a heavy sighii
‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise
And aloha temperature would be nice.
Filed under Poems
After A While, You Take What Puns You Can Get
There once was a plant from Japan
That had varicose veins and went snap. An
Evening I glanced it
And it unzipped my pants. It
Turns out it was a veinous fly trap.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 