I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk honk honk
I am a mom
I want to die
Your Tax Dollars At Work #7,419
Before every movie you watch
There’s an FBI warning and on it
Is a message that vows either prison or fines
If you copy the movie and pawn it.
Meanwhile, in 38 states
Shoplifting a movie is legal.
I think it’s time the the FBI bird
Was replaced by a drunk cross-eyed seagull.
Filed under Poems
Who’s With Me, America?
I want to see a game show
Where people say on air
Honest things that they believe
And why we ought to care
And then I, with my family,
Will discuss what has been said
And then have a sip of water
Before slipping off to bed.
Filed under Poems
When They Started Using Those “Printer” Things, Everything Went Downhill…
When the Roman Empire fell
People thought “This isn’t swell”
And for a while they were right
And all the world was dark as night.
Then a guy named Gutenberg
Turned out to be a giant nerd
And invented a thing called a printing press
Which writers say reduced their stress.
After this, a rennaissance
Began, and then a war in France
And freedom became the big buzzword
That people gravitated toward.
Now as another empire falls
I wish we’d have the collective balls
To look how we got in this mess
And demand they bring back the printing press.
Filed under Poems
Classical Music
You’re here to see a concert
And the first piece we will play
Is the thanking of the sponsors,
For although you had to pay
A decent sum of money
To come see our group perform
Without our corporate overlords
We’d not be able to form.
Thank you to the money guys
Who like this older stuff.
Now please prepare to give a hand
For another half an hour of fluff…
Filed under Poems
Turns Out The Genie Only Grants Two Wishes…
I hope that before I die
I’ll fart one million times.
That or curing cancer…
Or maybe writing rhymes?
Filed under Poems
Oh No! Now My Privacy Is Auctioned Off By A Monopolistic Corporate Super Power? But Now I Won’t See Ads For Things I Whisper Within Earshot Of My Fridge!
Now Google Chrome apparently
Is blocking third-party cookies
So companies have to pay them
To earn the user clicks and lookies.
People are acting like this is bad,
As if personalized ads were good…
But people are optimistic about the election
So I guess they probably would.
Filed under Poems
I Almost Published This Without A Title (And In A Way, I Still Did?)
I want to skip my poem today.
The thought went through my head
And yet I wrote a poem…
Maybe I’ll skip leg day instead!
Filed under Poems
And Yet They Give These To Eleven-Year-Olds?
If I were a Pokemon master
I’d sure get to work a lot faster.
With my Dragonite I’d
No traffic abide…
On reflection, that would be a disaster.
Filed under Poems
What Do You Mean “Is It In?”
It started with the big floppy disc
Then they made a smaller floppy.
CDs came, then thumb drives,
And now we have the micro-SD.
I guess we can be grateful
That our storage is getting firm
But the reduction in storage size
Is making my male brain squirm…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 