All these folks are making jokes
Like why was six afraid of seven?
So seven ate nine, that’s well and fine
But I’ve got a joke sent from heaven:
Why were e people
Afraid of the letter W?
Cause White people.
Haha, hehe, whoo!
Tag Archives: Bad
Imagery…
He said “Hey there baby.
“Want to date a carpenter?”
She said “I would rather
“French kiss a pencil sharpener.”
Filed under Poems
Proof That Math Is Sexist
Today I realized that if
The calculator were invented today
The numbers zero, eight, and five
Would have to go away
Because 58,008
Looks like “BOOBS” upside down
And that might offend someone
And there’s actually no punchline…
The world is just that dumb.
All True, But It Should Have Ended Eight Lines Sooner
If you put yogurt into a tube
It changes its name to Gogurt.
If you put yogurt into a friendship
It changes its name to brogurt.
If you plant yogurt deep in the forest
Someday it just might growgurt.
If you give it high heels and make it dance
You could say its a showgurt.
I Put Zero Effort Into This Poem, And So Should You
It’s Christmas day!
It’s Christmas! Yay!
There are better things to do today
Than read this blog, so go away!
Filed under Poems
Because #Inclusion (Subverting Sexist Expectations Or Something?)
I always wanted a grandkid
With whom I could spend days
Holding, feeding, talking, reading,
And bonding in other ways.
When I got the call that said
“I’m pregnant,” I felt joy.
All that could make it better was if
The pregnant one was my little boy.
Filed under Poems
When You Speak To A Chihuahua Without A Stupid Accent…
“You’re a good boy! Yes you are!”
They said and pulled me to the car.
But they didn’t use a cutesy voice
So I killed them (I had no choice).
Filed under Poems
If Background Characters Mattered: Star Wars Edition
Of all the films that ever ended
Then were released in versions extended
The biggest scene these films still lack
Is the pivotal part in “The Empire Strikes Back”
Where Steve, the Bespin cleaning guy
Who fixes the vents of the city in the sky
Sees a disembodied hand somewhere
And decides “Eh, whatever. I don’t care.”
Moments later Steve just laughed
When he saw Luke fall down the bottomless shaft
Then picked up his check from Mr. Vader
And went back home to his giant crater.
Filed under Poems
Pasta My Prime
Tonight my inspiration is limited.
The scope of it is teeny,
So suffice it to say
I found out today
A wimpy Italian is a lingweeny.
Filed under Poems
It’ll Get Better Soon… Maybe (Probably Not : )
Yesterday I wrote a joke
And thought I’d write more later.
By later I had decomposed
Into a couch potater.
From the fact ai wrote “potater”
I suspect that you can see
This week has not inspired
My most vibrant artistry.
So tonight I have a fallback
That I’ve used in ages past
Where I write a bit on writing
And use words like “grand” and “vast.”
I make questionable decisions
And lines with uneven meter,
And rap up the inanity
By rhyming with saltpeter.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 