‘Twas Christmas Eve morning
And one hirsute hyperborean
Was done making toys
And now streaming “The Mandolorian.”
In a matter of hours
Gifts would be delivered on-time.
Meanwhile, one naughty poet
Was pleased with a rhyme.
Tag Archives: Big Words
Thus Was Born A PhD
The problems with school are many
But the primary lamentation
Is that the methodology
Lacks invigorating implementation.
Instead of “teaching math”
We could promote symbolic logic.
Instead of “reading textbooks”
Let’s devour tomes-pedagogic.
Instead of “learning new words”
Let’s rejuvenate the vernacular.
It’s these zeitgeist-alterations
That would make school more spectacular.
Filed under Poems
A Poem Is Only A Poem If You Don’t Understand It (Chicks Dig Metapoetry)
Wherefore do we seek a verse
From yonder parent, babe, or nurse
To instruct us in verbal mosaic
Both obfuscatory and archaic?
Wherefore, also I must ask,
Do we encourage such a task
Except to inhabit the proverbial sack
With those who a Y chromosome lack?
And yet contests and prizes plenty
Abound for verses-sentimenty.
Especially now that need of a bard
Is largely supplanted by the Hallmark card.
Filed under Poems
The Rhyme’s The Thing
You may assume that you are right
If this verbage seems erudite,
But past the splendorous facade
The verisimilitude is not so odd.
Betwixt this linguist’s obfuscation
Surmise his true preoccupation;
To force the same phonemic core
Between line past and line before.
All My Friends Disserted Me (The Modern Woe Of PhDs)
If you want to seem intelligent
Valediction of erudition
Is phermonically aleviated
By trepidation vis a cognition.
In the circumstance of dereliction
Of your vocabulative varelse
You may query my acquaintance
Or acquaint with someone else.
Filed under Poems
Art Appreciation, Chapter One
Visualize synchronicity:
The epiphanies stimulate
Largesse and postulation.
Improvement is realized through
Calamitous virtues,
And that is why pigs are green.
Filed under Poems
To All The PhDs Enjoying a Sporting Event Today (Or On A Given Future Day, Circumstances Permitting)
I realize this day is special
For a contest will take place
In which genetically superior constituents
Will seek, in scoring, to outpace
Their counterparts in opposition
Within a time allotted,
Thus justifying the fiduciary endowments
With which said constituents are besotted.
I hope that in future contests
Of similar athletic variety
That your subgroup of physically-fit object-movers
May prove worthy of your them-focused piety.
In fact, I would extend my well wishes
That your team may excel in perpetuity
Until their superior members inevitably decay
And we may correct our lost-time incongruity.
Filed under Poems
Econ 400, Minute 1
Via obfuscatory principles
And derivative pomp
It is my imperative to greet you
To my academic romp,
Wherein the equilibrium,
Elasticities, and curves
Shall give M. Night Shyamalan
Envy of my topical swerves.
I do hope to saturate you
In the ways of Bayes and Nash
While displaying free-market principles
By trading good grades for cash.
Please infer your syllabus,
Or you shan’t this lecture win.
Now, like a prisoner’s dilemma,
To start, we must begin…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 