Tag Archives: Boring

A Poem For My Wife On The Occasion Of A Duty To Her Peers

‘Twas the day of jury duty

And through the courthouse

Most groups were still waiting

(They’d just called in “mouse”).

The judges were hoping

For non-psycho jurors

While my wife was pining

For sofas and purrers.

One hundred dollars

Awaited those selected

To sit in the waiting room,

Tired and dejected,

But some of those gathered

Would be chosen to act

As one of a dozen

Who would justice enact.

The thrill of deciding

A dumb person’s fate

Might be tempting for some,

But not to my mate.

She wanted to go

To her job or her house,

Not to wait for a call

For “Octopus”. (Nope, still “mouse”).

And then, with a flash

And a low-level clatter

A sentry emerged

And did hush all their chatter.

“I’ve news for you all”

The page said to the bunch.

“We don’t need you right now.

“Take an hour for lunch.”

And so wifey departed

In search of a bite

With an intrusive thought

That she’d be here all night…

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Yeah… So Much For “Anything Can Happen”

There once were eight teams

With ambitions and dreams

Of competing for Super Bowl glory.

The boring teams won

And we didn’t have fun

And that’s today’s NFL story.

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Chatting With The “Mirror Selfie” Girls…

Sometimes I look in the mirror

And see myself staring at me,

And when I clean the glass it gets clearer

And I know it’s my face that I see

And I look at myself and think “Wow!

“That’s expected, and not very shocking!”

And that, my dear lady, is what I perceive

And thus space out when you start talking.

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The Night Club

‘Twas deep in the evening,

Way the heck into night.

Unlit things were dark

And dark things weren’t light.

It was nothing like morning,

Like super late afternoon,

And she’s talked like this all evening

And I hope this date ends soon.

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Sensi-Ball

I want to see a sport

Where forty normal guys

Cooperate athletically

To share a worthy prize.

No one would hit each other.

No feelings would be hurt.

They’d go home with clean jerseys

And their hands devoid of dirt.

No penalties are needed

For good sportsmanship prevails

And from such competition

Comes a host of happy tales.

Such sports would be refreshing

And a lovely change of pace

But for now I’ll stick with boxing

‘Cause I love some hand-to-face!

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For The Non-Partiers

I’ve got a real shindig

For those wallflowers out there.

I’ve got seats in every corner

To sit silently and stare.

I’m not saying it’ll get crazy,

But heck, you never know!

All y’all are invited.

BYO H2O.

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Not The Adventurous Sort

If I could be any animal

For just a single day

I would be a human

‘Cause right now my life’s ok.

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