There once was a Hurricane Milton
And for donations the news went a guiltin’.
They had guys in the storm
With hair in good form
Filming live from the Atlanta Hilton.
Tag Archives: Dumb
This Was The Song That Like Literally Defined My Childhood, You Know?
My car
Your dad
His car
My bad
It’s just
A flesh wound
New paint?
I’m doomed!
I’m coming to terms with what I just did
‘Cause I’m just a punk music 2000’s kid!
Hey dude
We’re good
I’m white
But I say “hood”
I can’t
Sing well
That’s why
I yell
All the songs I sing sound like Green Day did
‘Cause that’s the dream of every punk 2000’s kid!
(Nana na na… nana na, na, nana nana na) x9
…2000’s kid!
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Sponsored By Thulium… Because Atomic Number 420 Doesn’t Exist Yet
I hope we never discover
Another element for the periodic table
‘Cause you know they’d name it “Deeznutzium”
Or something like that if they’re able.
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than Modern Pop
Yesterday
All my motivation went away
Now I’m writing you this poem today,
A parody
Of yesterday.
Filed under Poems
I Actually Don’t Know… I Just Write Too Many Eight Line Poems
We played D&D
For nine hours today
So my brain is quite fried
And I hope it’s okay
That this poem is brief,
Just seven lines long.
“Why not eight?” you ask?
Lycanthropyness (Other Spellings Acceptable)
I’m basically a werewolf
But instead of being transformy
When the full moon rises
I get very horny.
The other difference
Between a werewolf and my ways
Is that I’m also were-horny
The other 28 days.
Filed under Poems
When Your 12-Year-Old Tells A Dirty Joke
A missionary and his doggy
Went to town via 69th street.
This poem would be longer
But I don’t know grownup sheet.
Really Though… I Would Love To See More Movies Dubbed With Animal Noises
I wonder if animals watching TV
Think every show is just a human Lassie:
“Oh look! A talking human is saving the day.
“It makes its funny noises and everything is ok.”
Filed under Poems
Geolo-Gee Whiz!
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
Why People Don’t Write Sonnets Anymore
As the auburn sunrise comes to settle
O’er the rocky hillside by the pine tree
Two boys compete to test th’others mettle
And by “boy” we mean those who cannot biologically experience pregnancy
And we do acknowledge that some who can experience pregnancy do identify as boys
And some who cannot do not identify as boys, but as ceilings
And then they hit each other with their Star Wars episode XXVIII toys
And were told “No D’CarsenIsabellaLiam”, which hurt their feelings
So their parents apologized, whether
Or not that was the thing for them to do
And they sang “Hail to the Chief” together
As the auburn sunset signaled curfew.
Filed under Poems
