She asked to buy a stove,
A stove she could love.
They asked at what cost?
“The one that costs the most.”
They heard what she said
And watched as she paid.
Then they helped her move
The new stove, her love.
Tag Archives: English
Why Jocks Get Seize
The public schools of Pittsburgh
Are bad beyond my wildest beliefs;
They teach kids words like “Steelers”
When the proper terms is “Thiefs.”
Filed under Poems
Why English Is Hard
How do you pronounce vapid,
Plein air, eschew, or bow?
Then when you factor in typoes
You really never now.
Filed under Poems
Divinity Achieved
If I became God
The first thing I’d do
Was teach when to ask “whom”
And when not to use “who.”
Hint: If you would say “her” or “him,” use whom… The word of the lord 😉
Filed under Poems
Bad Language?
Eye halve know aye Dia
Howe thoughs hoo dew knot no
How-to spellin’ English
Kant fig your it out, sew
Threw this Han dee poem
I salve Mai own dill Emma.
Hi expect, inn learning spannish
Their Will bee Noooooo! problema.
Filed under Poems
Don’t Be An Ass
Whosoever writeth thus
In styles archaic and old
Shall not retain a salary
And, as consequence, is cold
For whosoever writeth
In a manner hard to read
Is but a fool or PhD,
Neither of which fulfills a need.
Filed under Poems
Or You Mite Be Letting Siri Type Four Ewe
If you prey at a alter
And like you’re time their,
You watch the news and think
That how the world works isnt fare,
Youve misplaced yor resume
But will happily give you the jist
Than you might bee looking four jobs
Via a web sight like Craigslist.
Filed under Poems
Honestly, Get your Suffixes Straight!
If feminism means “go women”
And humanism means “people are good”
Then racism means “yay fast people,”
Or at least it should.
Filed under Poems
Why Grammar Matters
A world without adjectives
Would suck
But it wouldn’t be bad
Would blow
But it wouldn’t be sad
Would eat your soul
But not in a negative way.
A world without adverbs
Things happen,
People run
Other people run
Some are faster
But we’ll never know which.
A world without verbs
Blue, stagnant,
Highly descriptive,
Shorter than previous stanzas.
A world without nouns
Write this if you dare.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 