Once, there were some evil kings
Who did a lot of evil things.
As times go, it was not pleasant.
Unfortunately, that time’s the present.
Tag Archives: Fairy Tale
Who’s Stopping You?
Once upon a time
My default face was smiling
Under burden of conformity
To the status of “not bad”.
In that far off kingdom
My heart was reconciling
My duty to the status quo
And the feelings that I had.
A princess in a tower
Which was formed of graying stone
And tasked with daily maintenance
Of contentment with conviction.
The dragon tasked with guarding me
Was a creation of my own
And the “fines” and “goods” I murmured
Masked my inner benediction.
Once upon a time
I let my default smile fade
And the gray stone tower crumbled
And I bade the dragon eat me
But without the need for outer peace
My boldness was repaid
And I found the dragon of my mind
Had no strength to defeat me.
The kingdom of the “good enough”
Is a fairy tale now.
My default face is smiling
But my smile is not a scam.
I smile as a person who
No longer wonders “how”,
Who smiles not to inoffend
But because of who I am.
Filed under Poems
History Is Written By The Famous
Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy
Bashful, Grumpy, and Dock
Mined all day to earn their pay
From 8:00 to 5:00 o’clock.
With seven salaries they paid
The rent for one small shack
And thought this was the status quo
Because the dwarves were black.
Then this white chick comes along
And they’re all like “Hi ho!”
Then she’s like, “OMG you guys,
“My name’s like totally Snow.”
And so she took their home away
And even ate their fruit
Before she slept for free a while
‘Cause hey, the chick was cute!
She slept upon the eighth dwarf’s bed
Who never was alerted.
So says the spurned, forgotten dwarf
Whose name is Introverted.
Filed under Poems
Towers of Solitude Circa 2020 (Dragons Not Included)
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the fairest of them all?
Sorry princess, I can’t say…
Your credit card expired today.
Mirror, mirror of denial,
What about my winning smile?
Princess, although my heart leapt
That’s not a payment I accept.
Mirror, mirror I don’t know,
I’ve got a new email so…
fancychick@web.net
Want a two-week free trial of the best mirror yet?
An Honest Fairy Tale
A long, forgotten time ago
In long-forgotten lands
There lived a pair of lovely twins
Who worked as stablehands.
The first girl was named Allison,
The second, Mirabella.
Both had dreams of rescue
By a prince (or princely fella).
Both were bright and beautiful
And full of youthful vigor,
Their smiles were breezes in the heat
And fires within the frigor.
Allison worked hard all day
Attending to the mules,
Believing that her honest work
Would lead to princely jewels.
Mirabella worked instead
As little as she could,
Aiming to stay soft and clean
As any princess should.
Many peasants came to try
To earn a sister’s heart.
Some were strong or rich or brave
And others still made art.
But neither flowers and poetry
Nor deeds both great and small
Could attract the twins, who wanted
A prince, else none at all.
Allison grew old and strong
And wealthy all the while.
Mirabella just grew old,
But did it with a smile.
There are far fewer princes
Than lovely stablehands
In both the world in which we live
And long-forgotten lands.
Neither twin could find a prince
And neither was a wife
But both, at least, had managed
To live a happy life.
Filed under Poems
A Fairy Tale Romance
I hold your hand and count to ten
On fingers, yours and mine.
I see the ring I’ll give to you
And how the gold will shine.
I see the satin dress you’ll wear,
Your lacy veil of white
And how our lives will be complete
After our wedding night.
I smell our families’ tears of joy
And hear the words we’ll say
To merge two hearts eternally
On one momentous day.
I feel the fire in my heart,
How yours must burn the same,
I ask you now to you marry me!
Oh, also, what’s your name?
Filed under Poems
Dragons > National Debt
A princess was stolen by dragons
Some hundreds of eons ago
And instead of waiting to be slain
The dragons just stir-fried the hoe.
The kingdom saved money on dresses
And a new sense of peace was acquired.
The dragons had balls, which meant
That dancing at balls ain’t required.
The knights stopped jousting each other
For no prizes were there to be won,
And the taxes went down, people made fewer gowns,
And the populace had lots of fun.
When you don’t have to pay for a princess
How happy the white knights can get.
The only downside is the dragons
Whose tummies have gotten upset.
Fixer-Upper Relationships
Why yes indeed,
I rode my steed
To do the deed
Of rescue.
For a maiden fair
I did ride there,
My only care
To rescue.
I slayed the foe
That guards her, though
I only did so
To rescue
That stolen dame.
I would lay claim
To lass and fame
Through rescue.
The door open wide
I rushed inside
To where she does reside
To rescue.
When I did, I saw
A girl with bloody maw
Holding a chainsaw.
Now my rescue
Seemed quite in doubt.
As it turns out
Well, could you help me out?
I need rescue.
Filed under Poems
Beauty Still Sleeps
My horse and I have traveled
Over miles of mountain and glen
Slaying dragons, wooing ladies,
And then doing it all again.
We fought our way to this castle
Surrounded by magical thorns.
With my sword, I carved my way through them
With my backup chorus of horns.
I bathed in the courtyard fountain,
Doffed my armor and donned my suit,
Made by the finest craftsmen in the kingdom
And tailored to flatter my patoot.
And I climbed up ten thousands flights
Of ruined and slippery stairs,
Not breaking a sweat or a nail
(And bravely fought off several bears).
Now I gaze on my love’s sleeping visage
And my heart gives a coo like a dove
As my lips caress hers. Still she slumbers.
Hey, what’s this clause on the wall ’bout true love?
Filed under Poems
Once Upon An Elaborate Fiction
As the knight climbed the steps
To the princess’s room
His heart pounded harder
Than you’d be prone to assume.
He flung open the door
And what did he see?
A bored, unwashed princess
Aged 73.
That’s what you get
When you lock up a kid
With no education
In a tower guarded
By an unslayable dragon.
And what did she eat?
Only things that could keep
Like canned veggies and meat.
She had no running water,
No way to catch rain,
No outside contact
To challenge her brain.
So if you’ve got a princess
Don’t lock her away.
Besides, all the good knights
Are taken or gay.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 