I wish, when first you met someone
You’d know if you should care
And could see if they’re important
By the weirdness of their hair.
I wish that all decisions
Could be solved in such a way
That a card game or a cook-off
Would decide who rules the day.
I wish that every skill
Could be mastered in an hour
Through a training montage sequence
And above-3,000 power.
But I would trade these wishes
Plus a leg and six months pay
For the girls in real life
To be the girls in anime.
Filed under Poems
I bought a fish named Clem on Tuesday
And by Wednesday he was dead.
I bought a fish named Joe on Thursday
But hid him under my bed.
Joe is living happily
Unlike poor, stubborn Clem
Who saw guys on TV and challenged himself
To hold his breath like them.
Filed under Poems
I asked my Dad, “Before computers
“When you were bored what did you do?”
He wouldn’t say, and none of my sixteen
Brothers and sisters knew.
Filed under Poems
Is it harder to be a single mom
Made pregnant at eleven
Or to be a single mom
When you’re a childless man at 87?
Filed under Poems
Who once was an ideologue
Now bears a predacious heart,
A prerequisite for leadership
In politics and art.
Who once fantasized
Is yoked by sponsors unseen,
Separate from the audience
Who now seem unclean.
Who once dreamed of changing
Now for sameness votes,
Repelling their friends,
Trapped within their own moats.
Who is no longer meek
Now learns how and why
The meek inherit nothing
If the elites never die.
Filed under Poems
I was almost bankrupt
But rather than admit defeat
I missed a few car payments
And boom! I’m back on my feet!
Filed under Poems
Yesterday I was responsible:
Got dressed, and went to work.
Just ’cause I mixed the order up
Doesn’t mean I’m a jerk…
Filed under Poems
Ten persent of school
Is lurning how to get along.
Forty-two persent
Is lurning that you spelled stuph rong.
Maybe five persent
Is how to fill your plate and cup.
The other eighty-five persent
Is how to add things up.
Filed under Poems
Whether people treat you badly
Or whether they treat you fine
Is directly correlated
To your possession of a spine.
Filed under Poems
A hero stood and spoke the truth,
Was called unwise, uncool, uncouth,
Was thrown out by the ruling men
But in the streets he spoke again.
His home was burned, his name was mocked,
His faith was tested, his world was rocked.
He was left penniless in shame
But when he spoke, he spoke the same.
He watched as liars took control,
Saw how untruths extract their toll.
The Earth collapsed beneath a word,
While the truth was spoken, yet unheard.
Left with no ground to stand upon,
When everything he loved was gone,
The Earth was ash, but still he stood;
He was the only one who would.
But from the ash a flower grew,
A cloud allowed the sunshine through,
A bird sang out a cheerful song
And the hero saw that he was wrong:
Life was good, so broken-hearted
The hero silently departed.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 