Tag Archives: Love

How Quickly Things Change

Waiting for the bus

In the rain

Next to other people

Who don’t have their bus passes.

Waiting for the bus.

Such a pain!

Other people are talking to me

Mostly out of their asses.

Waiting for the bus,

Not a train.

Other people haven’t gotten the hint that my failure to acknowledge their attempts to converse mean I don’t want to converse.

Such is the transport of the masses.

Then the bus arrives

And my jaw falls limply.

She steps off, so graceful,

So beautifully simply.

I watch her meander

Like a flower in the breeze,

Warm and fragile like stained glass

And as innocent as a sneeze.

I mean to call out to her

So she might look my way

But I find my tongue and brain

Cannot agree on what to say.

I dumbly watch her disappear

And without so much as fuss

I’m standing by myself once more

Just waiting for the bus.

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What I Look For In A Lady

I’d be wary of a felon

But she needn’t be a saint.

She eats food almost every day

And will very seldom faint.

She has two eyes, two nostrils too,

And her scalp is topped with hair.

Her days are always better

When she has access to breathable air.

I may sound picky when I say this

But she should have a mouth that can open.

Is there such a perfect girl?

Well, ’til we know, here’s hopin’.

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Economics Doesn’t Seem Like Such A Smart Path Of Study Now, Does It?

She looks at me with longing.

I see only snakes.

For a moment our eyes meet

Before I turn to stone,

Having time only to think

“Why didn’t I major in Greek Mythology?”

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What Crabs Get

The hermit crab lived all alone,

Befitting of his name,

But he met a lady hermit crab

And talked and thrust and came.

Alas, he failed to protect himself

With a rubber or a thing of that yen

And he contracted a most vile disease:

In this case it was men.

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Vulcans Makes Sh*tty Poets

When I see your smiling face,

Your shining eyes and feline grace

I almost feel something at all

But then I don’t. So there.

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Vulcans Makes Sh*tty Poets

When I see your smiling face,

Your shining eyes and feline grace

I almost feel somethig at all

But then I don’t. So there.

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Filed under Poems

Totally The Feelings Of Someone Else (Who Isn’t Me) For Margot Robbie That Are Probably Exaggerated And Definitely Not Mine… Probably

Margot, Margot, Margot Robbie:

You make me want to go and see

A film I likely won’t enjoy

‘Cause you are you and I’m a boy.

Margot, Margot, Margot Robbie:

Watching you is my new hobby.

Your hair, when styled in tails of pig

Makes my… heart… grow twice as big.

Margot, Margot, Margot Robbie:

You’re my favorite celebrity since whoever played Dobby.

The only thing more beautiful in my eye

Would be a reboot of Firefly.

Margot, Margot, Margot Robbie:

You’re hotter even than wasabi.

This poem’s a joke written for you.

Yes, I’m a Joker, so love me too!

Margot, Margot, Margot Robbie:

Not being with you makes me sobby

But in the unlikely event you won’t be my vixen…

Shailyn, Shailyn, Shailyn Pierre-Dixon.

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The Wife And Mr. Chicken

No one warms my heart like you do,

For three minutes on medium heat.

Our families and neighbors judge us harshly

But I’m glad, to you, I’m just a piece of meat.

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You’re The Only One

When I look at you

I see the stars in your eyes,

Round and full of love

And the same blue as the sky’s.

I see your lips, so ruby red

That whisper sweet lies

And I know you’re the only one.

Your hair is like a waterfall

Caressing my cheek.

The joy I feel around you

Makes my eyes spring a leak.

If I could only find the words

I know that I’d speak

To tell you you’re the only one.

You’re the only one

Who brings color to my world,

Who’s cooler than the winter

And more lovely than the fall.

The only one so beautiful

I cannot believe

That I feel no attraction at all.

You have an angel’s heart

And a siren’s sweet voice.

My apathy towards you

Cannot be by choice.

Maybe it has to do

With how you say “nice” as “noice.”

Whatever reason, you’re the only one.

You might just be an angel

Spreading joy to the land

The light of the world flowing

From the palm of your hand.

In spite of your perfection

You simply must understand

That you’re literally the only one.

The only one that leaves me

Feeling dry in my pants,

Uninspired to sing

And unwilling to dance.

You’re like an inconsistent meter

From one stanza to the next,

Which perhaps is why, from me,

You always will go un-sexed.

You’re the only one

To walk across a fire for me.

You’re maybe my only true love,

Destined for all time is you and me.

And so as this song/poem

Finds itself so near it’s end

Know that literally everyone turns me on

But you’re the only “just a friend.”

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Breakups Are Hard

Oh my darling, oh my darling,

Oh my darling Clementine.

You are lost and gone forever.

On second thought, that’s just fine.

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