Black shirt plus cat hair
Makes the maestro panic ‘til
Sticky roller comes.
Tag Archives: Music
Secrets From Da Biz
Play a little bit wrong
With a lottle bit of style
And the people gonna clap
And the judges gonna smile.
But if you play it perfectly
And accurately articulate
I hoping you enjoy standing
By the phone, where you’ll forever wait.
Filed under Poems
Karaoke
Somewhere in Japan
Somebody hired a band
But the singer didn’t show up for the thing
So the others hatched a plan
That the world considered grand:
They’d make the audience get up and sing.
The result, as you’d expect
Was not a pretty song
But a bunch of office workers all off-key.
The band all stood erect
As everything went wrong
And now this is a favorite globally.
Filed under Poems
Jazz
I’ve got a great idea
For a really catchy song.
We’ll play the tune for the first minute
But it’s eleven minutes long
So the rest of it will be me
Playing a random sexy lick
Until you forget that you were listening…
Yeah, that’ll do the trick!
Filed under Poems
Piano Tuning Saves Lives
If you sit at a piano
And you plink out A-C-E
Then you played an A Minor chord
So very easily.
But if you sit at a piano
That is really out of tune
Then you might screw up A Minor
And the cops will show up soon.
Filed under Poems
Yes, I Owned A Walkman. Why Do You Ask?
Let me walk you through a moment
Of what I call “being me.”
Instead of streaming music
And paying a monthly fee
I plugged in my computer
From around 2008,
Pressed power on at 6:15
And it booted up by 8:00,
Loaded up my iTunes
From before it was an app
Then uploaded some files
That will make my right foot tap,
Plugged in my phone and synced it
For an hour and a half
Then enjoyed my music free of charge
With a joyful millennial laugh.
Filed under Poems
Songwriting Tip #5678
If your chorus is just one sentence
Repeated exactly four times
That song isn’t actually music
And one day you’ll pay for your crimes.
Filed under Poems
When Your Child Is A “Musician”
To make a student concert go
There are some things you need to know.
Just like a wedding, what you hear
May cause you to shed a tear.
They’ll play a tune you know by heart,
Beloved favorite, devoid of art
And then a piece that’s written so
The talentless might play a show.
This will go on for several hours
And won’t be cancelled due to showers
To gird your loins and plug your ears;
You’ll have one for the next ten years.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 