This year was wild and crazy
And I was indulgent and lazy.
This year I’ll endeavor
To sleep more than ever
And get rich like Martin Scorsese.
Tag Archives: New Year
I Don’t Need Proof Through The Night That Our Flag Was Still There
There are two days of the year
Where fireworks and beer
Are acceptable for neighbors to abuse
And yet some neighbors (ours)
Must be from Venus instead of Mars
Because tonight’s the night they picked to light the fuse…
Filed under Poems
We’ll Start Next Year
Two days left to go
Of this wild and crazy year…
Peaceful at the gym
Filed under Poems
High Resolutions
New year, new you?
You do that too?
So that makes two
Of us. Who knew!
New year, new me
Is how I see
My future will be
Until January 3.
Then new year’s old
Or so I’m told
So I’ll put on hold
My plans so bold.
Filed under Poems
New Year, New Ads
A week ago every TV ad
Showed deals on toys and tech.
Now the ads show deals
On food and weight loss. What the heck?
Oh, yeah! Because the year went up
It’s time to be a better you
And thanks to marketing execs
We’ll know just what to do:
Throw money at the products
That say you’ll have more time,
A slimmer waist and better feet
And less suburban crime.
You’ll save a baby elephant
If you buy our fancy knife
And thanks to free shipping (if you buy NOW)
You’ll live a better life.
I, for one, am grateful
To view these free educational shows.
Now excuse me while I lose some weight
And my magically regrows.
Filed under Poems
After 2029 It’s “2020: Anniversary Edition”
Some people think this year will be bad
Because it comes after twenty-twenty
But that’s objectively untrue.
If you want to find an equal
Just realize they’ve scheduled a sequel
Every year ’til twenty-twenty nine
Filed under Poems
The Perfunctory New Years Poem
I’m flummoxed to fathom
The bourgeois congregation
That congeals in Times Square
For the New Year’s celebration
While I would reconnoiter
To avoid such a populous crew.
If you’re a sympathetic introvert
You likely share my view.
Whilst others massed in public
I hibernated at chez moi.
It was an evening of simplicity
And I needn’t venture fa’.
And as I awoke this morning
A eureka I did hear.
Hence I’ve vowed to simplify
My vocabulary this year.
Filed under Poems
Good Bye ‘Til Next Year, With Artificial Birds
Rubber chicken,
Plastic duck.
The year is over;
That’s just our luck.
Ceramic peacock,
Wooden goose.
Next year is nigh
So I must vamoose.
Filed under Poems
Better Travesties – Next Time
Next year I resolve
Not to write these dumb haikus.
Glad it’s still this year!
Filed under Poems
One Poem A Day: How Hard Can It Be?
I’m looking forward
To 2016,
Less so to the time
That comes in between,
For when the New Year
Comes rolling in
You feel able
To do anythin’.
But in 2015,
As it is right now
I’m cranking out poems
And tending electric cows.
And so in two months
I’ll be out of this funk.
For now I’ve got ice cream.
Hope you enjoyed this junk.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 