It’s about this guy who’s a demon
With virile and plentiful… oh lord.
I tried dear, I swear
But I really don’t dare
To review the books that have you screamin’.
Tag Archives: Parody
Is This How Pokemon Started?
Tiger tiger, burning bright
In the zoo, so late at night.
Alas, it seems those corporate jerks
Failed to show how the extinguisher works.
Filed under Poems
And For June’s Bingo Card…
Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Filed under Poems
I Can Call Him Black, But If He Says It Back That Misogy-tea
I’m a little teapot, short and stout.
I’m looking for a kettle six-foot or thereabout
Who makes a hefty salary, and when I shout
He wins me over and takes me out.
Filed under Poems
Want To Disable Blood Rain For $0.99?
Pestilence, Famine, Death, and War:
These are the mythic Horsemen four.
Another we’ll add in the next transcription:
It’s named, “To Continue, Please Buy A Subscription”.
Filed under Poems
A Poem For My Wife On The Occasion Of A Duty To Her Peers
‘Twas the day of jury duty
And through the courthouse
Most groups were still waiting
(They’d just called in “mouse”).
The judges were hoping
For non-psycho jurors
While my wife was pining
For sofas and purrers.
One hundred dollars
Awaited those selected
To sit in the waiting room,
Tired and dejected,
But some of those gathered
Would be chosen to act
As one of a dozen
Who would justice enact.
The thrill of deciding
A dumb person’s fate
Might be tempting for some,
But not to my mate.
She wanted to go
To her job or her house,
Not to wait for a call
For “Octopus”. (Nope, still “mouse”).
And then, with a flash
And a low-level clatter
A sentry emerged
And did hush all their chatter.
“I’ve news for you all”
The page said to the bunch.
“We don’t need you right now.
“Take an hour for lunch.”
And so wifey departed
In search of a bite
With an intrusive thought
That she’d be here all night…
Filed under Poems
Black Friday?
‘Twas two nights before Thanksgiving
And on every website
There were black Friday ads
That were sure to delight,
For why wait three more days
To get ludicrous deals
Like fifty-percent off
Those bejeweled heels?
Sure, in July
They were 99 bucks
But now they’re 199.99 89 dollars.
What incredible luck!
Today we are thankful
For bargains galore.
Now just three days to wait
Before violence in the store!
Filed under Poems
Cletus Prepares For Hurricane Charlene
Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall.
Ninety-nine bottles of beer…
The weather is dicey
But plywood is pricey
Thus ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall!
Filed under Poems
Deleted Scenes From Genesis
And the Lord said unto women:
Unto the lake you’ll goeth swimmin’
And the men will paint you and make art.
And the Lord said unto men:
Here’s a paper and pen.
Also, laugh every time you say “fart.”
***
John begat Jonah
And Jonah begat Josh
And Josh begat Evan
Who said “Oh my gosh
“My name is, like, Eve now
“And I’m not one of you men.”
And thus God prepared
For a flood once again.
***
In the beginning
There were two Gods above,
All powerful beings
And madly in love.
One God said, “Oh other God
“I’m pregnant with Earth.”
Other God said “We’re out of milk.
“See ya after the birth!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 