How many does it take to change me
The humans like to ask
To amuse themselves at my expense
While in my light they bask.
They love me not for what I am
But only what I do
And so I ask: Need I be changed
Or should the change be you?
Tag Archives: Philosophy
My Community College Application Essay
“He who thinks great thoughts
“Often makes great errors”.
That’s a quote from Martin Heidegger.
I don’t think great thoughts
And I also make great errors…
That’s a quote from me. Also, Flydeigger.
Filed under Poems
Philosophy 101
Whatever you’ve heard, forget it!
Whatever you know, you don’t.
Everyone thinks they are brainy
But most of their brains grown’t.
Ignorance is epidemic.
No knowledge or sense can be common.
Now pay your tuition and fill out this form
And go back to your dorm and eat ramen.
Filed under Poems
The Purpose of a Bird
What is the purpose of a bird?
To fly? To eat? To breed?
Is its life a thing of choice
Or else of merely need?
If its purpose is to fly
But, hatching from its shell
Is born without the wings to fly
Can life be ever well?
If its purpose is to eat
But lacking seed or prey
Can the bird starve nobly
As nature has its way?
If its purpose is to breed
But has no living mate
Is the bird worthwhile still
Despite its desperate fate?
And what of birds within their egg
Afraid to face the light
For fear of life without a mate
Or lack of food or flight,
Who lay inside their egg, so warm,
Who never hurt or cry?
Are they blessed who never live
For they shall never die?
What is the purpose of a bird
Who cannot do a thing?
To live in stillness silently
Or else, perhaps, to sing.
Filed under Poems
Three Philosophies Best Spoken Rapidly And Without Breathing…
Some monastic people say that if you can forgo enough
That you can lose the urge to call some other people “bro” and stuff.
To do this is a sort of psychologicalish double-bluff
That, if applied correctly, leaves you feeling rather strong and tough.
On the other hand our non-monastic colleagues like to say
Pursuing earthly pleasures is, to happiness, a surer way
And that forgoing stuff is very (insert synonym for gay)
And that, through your indulgences, you’re guaranteed to feel okay.
I am of a middle-ground, a kind of tertiary school
For those who think that happiness comes not from being tough or cool
But that the key unlocking all the treasures of this happy stuff
Is “Everything is perfect if you keep your standards low enough.”
Filed under Poems
Why Philosophers Don’t Flirt (Cogito Ergo Sumthin’)
I saw Descartes sitting at the bar.
I asked “Can I buy you a beer?”
Descartes replied “I think not,”
Then I watched him disappear.
Filed under Poems
There Is No Hidden Meaning. You’re Welcome.
I met an Indian guy on Tinder,
A philosopher named Deepinder.
I couldn’t understand most of what he said
So he said “Date my brother Shallowinder instead.”
Filed under Poems
We are the .0000000000000000000000000000000000000…1 percent
“My feelings matter”
Screamed the important human
And a few quadrillion cubic lightyears
Of hyper-intelligent space blobs
Smiled and reminisced
On when they thought the same thing.
Two or three universes away
The process repeated.
Filed under Poems
Buzzfeed Journalism
Everything in life worth knowing
Can be found in a hard-boiled egg.
If you don’t see how that’s possible
Your name probably isn’t Greg.
Filed under Poems
The Optimist Manifesto
There are no starless evenings
And never will there be.
Nothing stops existing
Just because you cannot see.
If you call a glass half-empty
Or say one plus three is two
You do not hurt reality
Except the part that’s you.
And if you look up at the sky
Upon some cloudy night
And say the stars are lovely
When there’s not a star in sight
That doesn’t make you foolish
And you’ll only seem a dope
To those who never knew of faith
And have forgotten hope.
I pledge to always be the fool
Who calls a crow a dove,
Who calls the wind the breath of God,
Whose sin is too much love.
While I may not know what’s real
I know that I know not
So why not choose to fill the void
With one more happy thought?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 