Shelly sells seashells at the seashore.
Nobody quite knows what she does this for.
No one buys the shells she sells, so I am pondering
If Shelly’s shells are a shell business for money laundering.
Tag Archives: Plot Twist
Give It To That One Friend Who Thinks Their Job Is Important
I want to read a novel
Where the fabled chosen one
Goes on a quest to do something
Like kill the god of the sun
And when we reach the ending
There’s a fabled chosen two
And there’s no sun god after all
And they don’t know what to do.
Filed under Poems
Jazz
Some music tells a story
Through its lyrics and its tune
While other songs can set a mood
Akin to Clair de Lune,
But gather up some saxophones
And play the notes you shouldn’t
And enjoy the kind of angry zen
That other music couldn’t.
You play between the melody
And skip around the beat,
Lighting cigars from wreckage
Of that old Chernobyl heat,
Not thinking of the church or state
Or fighting that good fight
But hearing without listening
And feeling things be right.
When every chord is almost sweet
And every stab of pain
Invites the opportunity
For dancing in the rain
You’ll know you’ve found the answer
And a chill runs down your spine
Because your call’s important
So please stay on the line.
Fast, Cheap, Good… Pick 2
Can I write a poem
In exactly 10 seconds?
I think that I can,
But it
Filed under Poems
Kings (Wait, What Word Were You Thinking Of?)
So explain to me again
How that word in your song
Is acceptable in rap
But if I say it, it’s wrong?
But if I say that word
With “vi” at the beginning
It’s no longer offensive
And the world just keeps on spinning?
Filed under Poems
The Rat Slayer’s Lament
Tonight I was a mighty warrior
Slinging balls of fire,
Casting down the many foes
Both minionesque and dire.
I spewed death from every pore
And slayed the vermin foul,
But when I leave the tavern’s basement
I throw in the towel.
Filed under Poems
Multipurpose Tool
A shiny new piano
Is a beauty to behold,
And music can bring life and warmth
Despite the rain and cold.
Every key and inch of wood
Brings harmony, dear reader…
Especially when dropped from the 60th floor
Onto the appropriate world leader.
Filed under Poems
All Part Of A Complete Breakfast
The toaster makes you crispy bread.
The fridge chills out your meals.
The plate will hold your citrus fruit
And the garbage holds the peels.
The dishwasher will clean things up
And there’s cereal on the shelf.
The pit trap on the front porch
Means you enjoy it by yourself.
Filed under Poems
This Was Super Wholesome Until I Couldn’t Think Of A Rhyme And Now It’s A Drinking Song
If the sun comes up tomorrow
And you no longer exist
You will not be scared or sad
Annoyed, confused, or pissed;
You will not suffer any pain
Or shed a single tear,
No longer prone to earthly woes,
‘Cause you’re no longer here!
If you cease to be a thing
Nothing will cause you harm.
You won’t regret the time you wasted
On your Facebook farm.
If the sun comes up tomorrow
And you’re absent from the dawn
You won’t mind when the whole world sings
“Thank God he’s finally gone!”
Filed under Poems
Averted The Crisis Is. Used Common Sense We Did.
A long time ago,
In a galaxy far away
Some Jedi asked the federation
How much they’d have to pay
To get the robot army guys
To stop blocking Naboo.
They came to a reasonable compromise
And they never filmed episode two.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 