As I drive down the highway
I see dozens of signs:
Slower
Traffic
Keep
Right
Right
Lane
Ends
Adopt a
Highway
Litter
Control
And I think to myself
“These sign writers are overdoing the enjambment.”
Tag Archives: Poetry
Health Class Paid Off
Body builder said
“Feel my upper back”, but I
Knew it was a trap.
Filed under Poems
Dream Jobs
The zookeeper likes animals
But ends up shoveling poo.
The librarian likes books
But tells the homeless people “shoo”.
The teacher wants to help kids
But the principal says no.
The customer service rep
Ran out of dreams three shifts ago.
Meanwhile, in my living room
I turn my camera off on Zoom
And watch Youtube while bosses talk
Of how to raise the price of stock.
Filed under Poems
The Old Greats Are Always Surpassed By Modern Marvels
Frankenstein reflects
That his monster has nothing
On the kid you made.
Filed under Poems
High School Science, 2025
Men are from Mars.
Women are from Venus.
Explain in 500 words
Why you should chop off your penis.
Filed under Poems
Gun Control Logic Be Like…
There once was a gal in a chair
Who got stabbed while she sat there.
We then rightly deduced
Murders can be reduced
By banning all sitting. Sound fair?
Filed under Poems
Sympathetic Villains
I want a government run by puppies.
If you want that as well
Let’s team up and kill six-billion folks
And make the world more swell.
Filed under Poems
21st Century Love
Learning CPR
To kiss choking folks for free
Still beats dating apps.
Filed under Poems
The Slow Learner
School is super awesome
‘Cause you get to go to class
And get yelled at by the teacher
‘Cause you’re super full of sass
And you get to ride a yellow bus
And eat mystery meat
In a gym full of 400 kids
And 800 smelly feet.
You get to learn a lot of stuff
Like math and reading books
And people whisper behind your back
And give you funny looks
And they legally can’t kick you out
If you try hard not to pass
And yes, I’m 48-years-old
And never late for class.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 