Hip-o’s are animals.
Neck-o’s are candy.
Knee-o’s “The One”
And Leg-o’s are dandy.
Elbow-o’s are redundant.
I-o’s admit debt.
That’s all the body-part-o’s
That tonight you’ll get.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Remember 2016 When This Was All I Wrote?
It is late and I am tired.
“Deinonychus” is hard to rhyme.
This poem was by my mom inspired
And now, luckily, I’m out of time.
Filed under Poems
We Need A Common Enemy
I think the USA should change
Their national anthem to
Taylor Swift’s rendition of
“Look what you made me do.”
It would soothe racial tensions
And bring the unity we lack
‘Cause everyone would kneel
And beg the feds to change it back.
Filed under Poems
Aphrodite’s Mom-of-the-Year Award
I didn’t put my firearms
In a baby-proof safe. I’m not stupid!
I just wanted to give the world
A much more dangerous cupid.
Filed under Poems
Reason #4,231,278 I Love Texas
I got a letter from a woman:
“I’m not pretty,” she wrote.
I wrote back “That’s okay.
“I once f***ed a goat.”*
Believe it or not
She never wrote back.
It seems my sage wisdom
Got her self-esteem back on track!
*Not a literal goat, you pervert! That’s just what we call my cousin.
Filed under Poems
Divinity Achieved
If I became God
The first thing I’d do
Was teach when to ask “whom”
And when not to use “who.”
Hint: If you would say “her” or “him,” use whom… The word of the lord 😉
Filed under Poems
I Got Game?
My sex life is like a game of bridge,
And I don’t mean bland:
I don’t need a partner
‘Cause I have an awesome hand.
Filed under Poems
Irony’s Trump Card
People on the street
Waving Confederate flags
Say “You lost, move on.”
Filed under Poems
Hidden In Plain Sight
I am the bird who built her nest
Beside the onramp to I5.
On the road mens’ eyes are glued
As they drive to their servitude.
Millions see me every day
But almost none will notice.
They lose the chance to look at me
Because they have somewhere to be.
I eat a bug and flap my wings
And smell fresh air and gasoline.
They think they need the Earth and Sky
And long for what they cannot buy.
They can fly to planets
I’ll never know exist,
Yet I don’t mind my being small.
I am the freest of them all.
Filed under Poems
False-Rape Culture
The marriage rate is going down
And many tears are falling.
The good men left and left behind
Some eyes bloodshot from bawling.
Men no longer mentor
Any women that they pay
Because they fear the power
Of what said women might say
And smart men will no longer talk
To strangers in a skirt
‘Cause they’re one false “j’accuse” away
From sleeping in the dirt.
Cats think that this circumstance
Is surely heavensent:
They live with 30-something women
Whose exes pay the rent.
Meanwhile the men rebuild themselves
From fighters into monks
And leave the chasing women
To the inner-city punks.
The West now walks on eggshells.
There is no doubt about it:
The feminists have made their beds
And now they lie about it.
Filed under Poems
